


Rise of the Phoenix

by bluephoenixrising



Series: Rise of the Phoenix [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Anti-Mage Cullen, Arranged Marriage, Awkward Cullen, Casual Relationships - Freeform, Confident Cullen Rutherford, Cullen Has Issues, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Blackwall/Josephine Montilyet, Minor Cassandra Pentaghast/Varric Tethras, Minor Dorian Pavus/Original Male Character, Minor Sera/Dagna, Multi, No Dorian's not straight, Sassy Inquisitor, Slow Burn, and hides it under sarcasm, and then he's not anti-mage, bad circle times, cullen grows, dealing with tranquility, he's a [mostly] good templar, lots of fluff later, lots of friendships, magic purges, mostly inquisition, nasty ass templars, not cullen, origins through inquisition, overcoming past issues, quizzy has depression, some anti-mage bullshit, some rape/torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:43:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8328451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluephoenixrising/pseuds/bluephoenixrising
Summary: Aeryn Trevelyan has been through it all. Born to a noble family with a thirst for power, she was offered as a marriage alliance with Tevinter when her magic manifested as a toddler, instead of being sent to the Chantry as was the custom for the Trevelyan family. Growing up in Tevinter was... interesting. But refusing a marriage after being betrothed for 10 years got her a one way ticket to the Ferelden Circle.The beginning was fine, but it quickly became the worst experience of her life, and defending herself only brought more trouble. After two years in the circle, she escaped with the help of her brother and best friend and wandered Thedas for the next 10 years until she found herself being prisoner after an explosion ripped a giant green hole in the sky. The Inquisition had been warned about her, and she was met with distrust at [almost] every turn.Cullen and the Herald have a history, but how far back does it go and what exactly was their relationship?





	1. The Breach

**Author's Note:**

> Re-write of the beginning is done! It's mostly the same as the previous version, but there are a few differences that I feel are really important for character development. Let me know what you think!

**Prologue**

 

    The explosion of green fire rippled through the surrounding area, causing Cullen’s horse to jerk to a stop and rear, almost throwing his rider. As soon as the Commander got his mount back under control, he spurred him into a sprint toward the Temple.

    His beeline to the explosion site was interrupted several times as he was approached and attacked by small hordes of demons, his sword tearing through each one easily enough. After cutting down six wraiths, three lesser shades, and a terror demon (not all at once), he finally arrived at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

    He had just arrived from Kirkwall. After Cassandra recruited him, he’d had some things to finish up there before heading for Haven and today was the soonest he could arrive. But looking around got Cullen thinking - if he had been even a half hour earlier...

    Everything in the area was dead. Cullen dismounted his horse as he slowly turned in a circle, taking in the damage with wide eyes. Stone walls that had been standing proudly just an hour before were broken and collapsed. In some areas, those walls had been reduced to piles of shattered rocks.

    Scattered throughout the site were flaming corpses, in varying positions, but all held expressions of horror. The Commander knelt near one and took the broken shield in his hand – the man had been a Templar, there to see the end of the Mage-Templar war.

    He shook his head and gingerly replaced the shield, whispering, “Maker watch over you.” Standing once more, Cullen noticed all the red. It was glowing and protruding from the ground and walls alike.

    Red Lyrium. The sight of the damned stuff brought back unpleasant memories of Kirkwall and Knight-Commander Meredith.

    What possible reason could there have been for red lyrium to be at the Temple?

    But it was lyrium. And it called to him. As he cautiously approached the offending substance, a loud crack sounded behind him and he spun around, ready to kill more demons.

    But demons were not what appeared. Before he could lower his sword, a young woman fell out of a rift, stumbled a couple of steps forward and then collapsed, face-down.

    Cullen quickly sheathed his sword and ran over to the woman. Two guards were about to pick her up, but a mark with the same green magic as the breach flashed and cracked on her hand, causing them to jump back and look to him for direction. He gestured at the guards to move back a few feet and he continued his approach, albeit more carefully. He didn’t know who this woman was, what that mark was, or what the both of them could do. For all he knew, she could’ve been the one to tear open the sky and make demons rain down from the heavens.

    The Commander gently rolled the woman over and cradled her head so as not to hurt her. Some hair had fallen out of her long braid and obscured her face. Her hand crackled again and he started, but did not let go of her. He raised his gloved hand and brushed the loose strands away to reveal her face. Apparently he did know her.

    His eyes went wide. “Maker’s breath… It can’t be.”

    _How can she be… This is impossible_ , he thought.

 

• • •

  


    She was sore and her entire body felt heavy. She groaned and opened her eyes, but could see nothing. She took a deep breath to avoid panicking and closed her eyes again before slowly rolling her head around, cracking her neck. She tried to lift her right hand to rub her neck, but it was much heavier than it should’ve been.

    Aeryn opened her eyes again, and things slowly started coming into view, gradually gaining more clarity. She looked at her right hand and noticed the shackles. “Chains. Lovely…” she sighed.

    A fiery pain shot through her left arm, causing her to scream out – both in shock and agony. As the fire lessened, a large wooden door opened before her and a proud woman stormed over to the prisoner, while another woman in a purple cowl followed behind.

    The severe woman with short, dark hair walked straight up to her and sized her up with just her gaze. Aeryn stared back defiantly before looking between the two women, more confused than she’d ever been in her life. The woman in front of her sneered at her and grunted before standing up straight once more.

    “I’m curious. What use would a tranquil have for daggers?” She asked in a thick Nevarran accent.

    Aeryn’s eyebrows shot straight up. “Wha-” She quickly went from shocked to insulted and she replied with anger. “I’m not a tranquil.” She looked between the two women again, noticing that they were both trying to read her. “Who told you I was tranquil?” She was more calm now. Well… as calm as she could be in her situation.

    The Nevarran woman spoke again. “Our Commander.”

    Aeryn rolled her eyes and smirked, her mask firmly in place. “You believe everything your Commander tells you?”

    “He told me he was there for your Rite of Tranquility. You _are_ Aeryn Trevelyan, correct?”

    Aeryn went cold and her breath left her for a moment. _If there’s someone here who was there… I can’t go back to_ any _circle. Maybe I should’ve joined the rebels..._ her thoughts were running a mile a minute and she finally spoke. “Your Commander must be mistaking me for another woman. You said something about my daggers.”

    “He is the one who saw you fall out of the Fade. He was adamant about your identity.” The Nevarran woman was getting angry and was speaking louder and more quickly.

    “I-wait, what? What do you mean ‘when I fell out of the Fade’?” Aeryn looked around more frantically for any sign of where she was. “Where am I?”

    “You are in Haven,” the woman in purple spoke up.

    _Haven? Why would I be in-_

    “The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead.” The dark-haired woman interrupted her thoughts. “Except _you_.” She got right in Aeryn’s face again.

    _Conclave? Wait… the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The war._ Aeryn’s eyes widened suddenly in a panic. “No… No, no, no, no, no.” _Cedric_ . She looked up at her captors. “You’re absolutely _sure_ there are no survivors? Not a single one?” Her eyes betrayed her panic and she was bordering on hysterical.

    “I’m afraid we have not found any survivors,” the woman in purple said. “Do you remember anything? About the Conclave or the Fade?”

    Aeryn let out a big breath and slumped forward. “I… I remember getting to the Temple. Nothing after that, though.” The mark on her hand flared up, making her cry out. “And what the fuck is this thing?”

    “We do not know yet. But we believe it has something to do with what caused the explosion at the Temple. Cassandra, will you be alright? My agents need my help.”

    “Yes, of course, Leliana. Go. I will take her to the forward camp.”

    Aeryn couldn’t focus. The pain running through her arm, the despair she felt for Cedric’s death and the hope that Cassandra was wrong. That he survived somehow. She barely registered as she was hauled off the floor, led up some stairs and out into the brisk mountain air.

She did, however, notice the large green swirling hole in the sky, and she gawked as Cassandra continued to lead her. But before she even made it four steps, the hole flared and the mark sparked again, causing her to fall to her knees, clutching her hand in pain. Cassandra had started to speak, something about a breach, but Aeryn couldn’t make out the rest of what she was saying. Her mind was swimming with everything she had learned in the last ten minutes.

The Temple of Sacred Ashes was… well, ashes. Everyone who went to the conclave to see the Mage-Templar war end was dead, including the Divine, but excluding her. Why her? _Why did I survive? Please tell me he survived. Maker, if you exist… Please._

    As the seeker led Aeryn through Haven, _everyone_ they passed glared at her. She was the lowest of the low. “They have already decided your guilt,” Cassandra said. “They need it.”

    Aeryn grimaced and scoffed. “Are you kidding me?” She pointed to the breach. “ _That_ is blood magic! That is some really fucking powerful blood magic! Do they honestly believe that _one_ person could rip a hole in the sky?” More people were gathering around to watch the prisoner yell at the Seeker and it was grating on her nerves.

    Cassandra roughly pulled her forward and stopped to look at her once they reached the gate. “Because of _this_ ,” she grabbed Aeryn’s left hand and held it up. “They believe you responsible. We, on the other hand, have reason to believe that this can seal the breach.” She removed the shackles and Aeryn rubbed her wrists tenderly.

    “So you need me,” Aeryn glared.

    “For now.”

 

    Aeryn continued to follow Cassandra through the gate, up a hill, around barriers and fires, and onto a bridge before a flaming fade rock destroyed the bridge and knocked everyone on it down onto the frozen river below. Aeryn and Cassandra slowly stood, shaking off bridge debris and found themselves face to face with two shades.

    _Well… shit._

    “Stay behind me!” Cassandra yelled to the mage as she attacked the far shade.

    _Yeah… my ass_ , Aeryn thought as the other shade came closer to her. She looked around frantically and found a very basic staff. _Ugh, really? I’d be better off with nothing... Cassandra would probably just get angrier, though, and I’d rather not see her pop a vein..._ She grabbed the staff and immediately set to attacking the shade, destroying it in three hits. _Weak. I_ _hate staves,_ she thought with a grimace. Aeryn was about to head over and help Cassandra finish off the other shade, but she looked like she was handling herself really well and instead rested her weight on the staff she found and watched the warrior fight.

    Cassandra finished up with the shade and jogged back over to where the mage stood and held her sword out. “Drop your weapon!” Aeryn just stood straighter and raised an eyebrow.

    Aeryn rolled her eyes and loosened her grip on the staff. “Fine.” She started to drop the staff.

    Cassandra relaxed her stance slightly and sighed.

    “I… wait. Keep it. I may not trust you, but I cannot protect you. Keep the staff. I should remember you did not try to run.”

    Aeryn nodded once. _Maybe not yet. But I will get out of here._ Especially _if someone from Kinloch Hold is here..._

    The pair continued on their path and ran into a dwarf and elf fighting demons below a rift. Aeryn and Cassandra wasted no time in joining the fray, cutting down demons left and right before the elf turned to Aeryn and yelled, “Quickly! Before more come through!” He grabbed her marked hand and held it up to the rift, sealing it.

    Aeryn pulled her hand back and looked at the elf. “How did you do that?”

    “I did nothing. The credit is yours.” He smiled.

    “Because of this,” she grumbled and looked at her marked hand.

    “Let’s hope it works on the big one,” came a voice from behind her. Aeryn turned quickly and a huge grin split her face.

    “Varric!” she yelled and ran over to give him a hug, then quickly pulled back, the confusion on her face evident. “What are you doing here?”

    He gave her his signature grin and replied, “Being held prisoner.”

    “Hey, me too!” Aeryn exclaimed with mock enthusiasm and then her face fell and she sighed. “It’s funny how, after all these years, we still find ourselves in the same situations.”

    “You two know each other?” Cassandra asked and Aeryn looked at her over her shoulder.

    “We met in Kirkwall a few years back.” She saw that Cassandra was about to push for more. “But that’s a story for another time,” she turned back to Varric and was about to ask after their friends, but the elf spoke up before she could say anything.

    “I am Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.”

    “He means ‘I kept that thing from killing you while you slept,’” Varric piped up.

    Aeryn nodded and looked to Solas. “Well, I am much obliged. Thank you, Solas. It’s a pleasure to meet you. That’s a very nice… jaw bone you’ve got there...” She said, referringto both his strong jawline and the bone hanging around his neck. She gave him a charming smile, which he answered with a small smile and a chuckle and, if she wasn’t seeing things, a _very_ slight blush  

    “Thank you.”

    Cassandra interrupted the conversation at that point. “We must get to the forward camp. This way.” And she took off down another mountain path, everyone else in tow.

    Several more trails, another rift, and plenty of demons later, the group arrived at the forward camp where Leliana was arguing with a Chantry man, who immediately called for Aeryn’s arrest, but Cassandra and Leliana were quick to jump to her defense. Well… they were quick to say that she was needed to close the breach. But that’s basically the same thing. The three argued back and forth and Aeryn lost herself in her thoughts once again, looking around at the snow covered mountains. _Was he in the temple during the explosion? ...Was he still there?_ The thought brought a sick feeling to her stomach.

    “What do you think we should do?” Cassandra asked and Aeryn’s eyes snapped back to the seeker.

    “What?”

    Cassandra rolled her eyes and growled. “Should we take the mountain path or charge through the valley?”

    “Which one is safer?” Aeryn asked and she got semi-incredulous looks from everyone present. Except for Varric. Varric smirked.

    “We lost contact with a squadron who went up the mountain path and there are demons everywhere in the valley,” Leliana replied. “So it is more a question of knowing what you will face. Neither path could be considered safe.”

    “Demons in the valley?” Aeryn mused. “Well then I say we charge. Whatever happens happens now, and if I die, then I won’t be around for your _trial_ later.”

    Cassandra somehow managed to look both pleased and miffed with her decision, while Leliana just looked put out. But the group set off toward the valley. The four jumped into the fray with the demons without hesitation and tried to help the inquisition soldiers who were getting their asses handed to them by demons. When almost all the demons were dead, Aeryn threw her left hand out and closed the rift.

“Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this.” Solas commented as he walked up to her.

“Yeah,” she muttered. She was clearly completely distracted and she started frantically looking around at all the charred corpses, going up to each one before stopping in front of one and falling to her knees.

 

    Cullen jogged up to Cassandra after the rift was sealed. “Seeker! You did it. You were able to seal the rift.”

    “It was not me, Commander,” Cassandra said. “That was the prisoner’s doing.”

    “Was it?” Cullen asked with a look of distaste on his face as he looked around for said prisoner. “...Where is she?”

    Cassandra looked around and noticed Varric walking up to a slumped form in the distance, then nodded her head in their direction. Aeryn had some sort of colorless, sparking aura surrounding her, which made the Seeker and former Templar slightly nervous. The two watched Aeryn and Varric for a moment before Cullen sighed. He turned back to Cassandra and said, “Keep an eye on her. I don’t know how, but she has her magic back. She’s dangerous.” And then he jogged off to help a wounded soldier back to Haven.

 

    “You okay?” Varric’s voice came from behind her as before, but much softer this time.

    Aeryn sighed and closed her eyes before responding. “It’s one thing to hear that you’re the only survivor from a deadly explosion, but it’s another thing entirely to see your brother’s charred corpse.”

    “Oh, sweetheart,” Varric’s hand came to rest on her shoulder. Hesitantly. He saw the sparks and tested the aura before he placed his hand there. “You’re sure it’s him?”

    She nodded and bowed her head and then opened her hand to reveal a cracked crystal on a leather cord. “Look familiar? I think I lost mine in the fade.”

    “You never did tell us what that was,” he pointed out.

    She smiled sadly to herself and stared at the crystal in her hand. “A gift from a good friend.”

    “Yeah, you told us that much,” he teased lightly. It brought a small smile to her face and the aura slowly shrunk until it was no longer there.

    Cassandra and Solas approached quietly and the Seeker broke the silence. “We must get to the breach.”

    Aeryn nodded and allowed Varric to help her up. She took a deep breath as she pulled her brother’s necklace over her head and looked each of her companions in the eyes. She nodded to Cassandra to lead the way.

    They walked past a few more scorched and still-burning bodies and then the breach came clearly into view. It was a lot higher up than it had originally seemed.

    “The breach is a long way up…” Varric said.

    Leliana and her group of rogues showed up shortly after them and Cassandra ordered her and her men to take up positions around the temple. She watched Leliana leave for a moment before approaching Aeryn. “This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?”

    “Can I even get up there?” Aeryn asked quietly.

    “No. This rift was the first and it is the key,” Solas said as he gestured to the rift directly below the breach, but straight ahead of them. “Seal it, and perhaps we seal the breach.”

    “Well… that’s confidence if I ever heard it.” Aeryn took a deep breath and started walking around the temple to find a safe way to get to the ground and closer to the rift. Cassandra, Varric, and Solas followed her and approached the rift, careful to avoid all the red lyrium everywhere.

    “Seeker… you know this stuff is red lyrium.”

    “I see it, Varric.”

    “But what’s it doing here?”

    Aeryn wondered the same thing. The last time she saw red lyrium was in Kirkwall, when Varric showed her the bit of the idol that was left with Bartrand. That was just before he gave it to a group of dwarves to study it. She knew there was something off about it just by looking at it then, and there wasn’t nearly as much as there was now. They were surrounded by giant crystals jutting from the ground and it was making her really uncomfortable. Not just in the sense that she didn’t want to be around it, but she could tell that it was having some sort of effect on her mana - she just couldn’t tell _what_ exactly that effect was. But it was making her feel weird and more on-edge. And ever so slightly sick. It was a good thing they were outside and not in an enclosed space.

    Aeryn steeled herself and kept looking for a way to the rift until she finally found a semi-low drop off where she and the others could safely jump from. As soon as she landed, the rift started… speaking? There were voices.

    “ _Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the sacrifice_.” It was a deep, gravelly voice.

    “What are we hearing?” Cassandra breathed.

    “At a guess… the person who created the breach.” Solas answered.

    The mark on Aeryn’s hand sparked and lit up as the rift started to speak again, this time in a woman’s voice. “ _Someone, help me!_ ”

    “ _What the fuck is this?!”_  Aeryn’s angry voice came from the rift and she took a step back, shocked. _Is that really what I sound like?_

    Cassandra looked to Aeryn with wide eyes. “That was _your_ voice. Most Holy called out to you, but…”

    And then the rift started to _show_ them the memory. It showed Divine Justinia being held captive as a large shadow creature with bright red eyes stood over her and Aeryn ran in.

    Of course she ran in. _Why can’t I just mind my own damn business…?_ She thought.

    “ _Run while you can, warn them!_ ” Justinia yelled to her.

    The large shadow creature spoke up again. “ _We have an intruder. Slay the girl._ ”

    And then the scene was gone as quickly as it appeared. Cassandra was not a happy camper, to say the least.

    “You _were_ there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…? Was this vision true?! What are we seeing?!” she rounded on Aeryn with the angriest look she had seen yet, the vein in her forehead becoming more and more prominent. She knew it was just because Cassandra was scared and confused, and she cared about the Divine, but it grated on Aeryn’s last nerve.

    She yelled at Cassandra with as much venom as Cassandra shot at her. “I don’t remember! How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t fucking remember anything about the Conclave?!”

    To her credit, Cassandra looked a bit ashamed and seemed as though she was about to apologize, but Solas spoke up before she had the chance.

    “Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds in this place.” He turned to the rest of the group and spoke again. “This rift is not sealed, but it is closed, albeit temporarily. I believe that with the mark, this rift can be opened. And then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.”

    “That means demons!” Cassandra shouted to everyone surrounding the rift. “Stand ready!”

    _Of course it means demons. It always means demons_ , Aeryn thought sarcastically.

    She looked around and saw the archers on the walls nock their arrows and the warriors on the ground unsheathe their swords. _Alrighty then_ … She raised her marked hand to the rift and felt the connection before it started to pull and she pulled back. As soon as the rift let go of her mark, a pride demon materialized.

    “Oh, well that’s just lovely,” she said at the same time that Cassandra shouted, “Now!” Varric stood beside Aeryn and gave her a knowing smirk before he started shooting with Bianca, and everyone else started to attack it as well.

    She disrupted the rift several times and after each disruption, they were all able to get some good, effective hits in on the monster. But of course, with each disruption, new demons came spewing out of the rift.

    It wasn’t a quick fight by any means, but it was a successful one. She dealt the last blow to the pride demon and connected her mark to the rift to close it. This pull was the strongest yet. She fought to keep her footing and stability and then all of a sudden, the rift let go, throwing her several feet backward and knocking her out.

 


	2. The Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we learn more about our future Inquisitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm going through and updating the first few chapters before I post any new chapters. I'm working on them, but they're heading in a different direction than I had originally anticipated, so enjoy the updated Chapter 2 (which is really chapter 1)!
> 
> UPDATED AGAIN (last time, I promise)

**Chapter 1**

   

She woke suddenly and sat up, trying to figure out where she was, her mind racing a mile a minute. She was about to stand when she heard something fall to the ground and a startled, “Oh!” Aeryn looked over and saw a young elf girl kneeling and trying to pick up everything that had fallen out of her basket. “Forgive me, I-I didn’t know you were awake.”

    Aeryn gave her a small smile, trying to calm her, and spoke softly. “There’s nothing to forgive, it’s all right.”

    “Lady Cassandra will want to know you’re awake. She wants to see you in the Chantry. She said, ‘At once!’”

    _The trial,_  she thought with a grimace, which the elf noticed and she took a step back. “Is this another prison?” Aeryn asked quietly.

    “I-I don’t… I don’t think so… They’re calling you ‘The Herald of Andraste.’ You closed the rift and the breach stopped growing.”

 _It worked?_ She looked around the room and at her wrists. She didn’t have any shackles on this time… Maybe she’s no longer a prisoner? “How long have I been out?”

“Three days, your worship,” the timid elf answered.

 _Three days? And the Seeker expects me to go meet with her as soon as I wake up? Uh… no._ “Wow. Well, uh… If you’re to report back to the seeker, then please tell her that I will meet with her, just as soon as I’ve bathed and eaten something.”

The elf looked at her with wide eyes, as if she couldn’t believe someone would dare to defy Cassandra. To be fair, it _was_ probably the first time. “B-But she said…”

“I know what she said, sweetling,” Aeryn spoke softly. “But if I’ve really been out for three entire days on top of surviving the explosion and killing demons, and it smells like I have, then I need to bathe and become somewhat presentable. And I need to eat something so that I don’t pass out from hunger during our meeting. If she gives you any trouble about it, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

The elf looked at her, even more frightened than before. “‘At once!’ she said…” the elf stammered and backed hastily out of the little cabin door.

 _Oh, great._   _She’s terrified of me._

 

• • •

 

Cullen, Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine looked up suddenly when the door to their makeshift war room burst open suddenly. They didn’t know who they expected to see, but they did not expect to see the little elf who was assigned to watch over the Herald. She was out of breath and looked as though she had spent all of her energy running to the Chantry. Cassandra was the first to react and she stood up straight and turned to face the elf completely.

“What is it?”

“Lady Cassandra, the… the-” she panted and tried to catch her breath. The Inquisition leaders waited patiently for her to get her breathing under control and looked at her expectantly, making the poor girl even more nervous. “The Herald… She - She’s woken up.”

“She has?” Cassandra asked. “Then where is she? You told her what I said?” Her eyes narrowed slightly and the elf shrunk in on herself under the Seeker’s scrutiny.

When she spoke next, her voice was much quieter. “She said that she had to make herself presentable before meeting with you. She needed to bathe and eat. ...She _has_ been unconscious for three days… She said she smelled.” she mumbled.

Cullen scoffed. “This is so like her. Making everyone else wait on her vanity.” He started to storm out of the war room.

“Commander, where do you think you are going?” Leliana asked and all eyes in the room were on him.

He stopped at the door and looked at them all over his shoulder. “She was told that she was needed the moment she woke up. We have been waiting for three days to finalize our next movements and we will not wait any longer.” His voice rose with each word and the second he finished speaking, he stormed out of the Chantry in search of that blighted woman.

He never stopped or slowed down and his boots made heavy prints in the snow as he stomped through the town. When he got to her cabin, he saw a semi-dispersed crowd and asked the merchant, Seggrit, “Where is she?”

Seggrit smirked at him and asked, “Whoever do you mean, Commander?”

Cullen had no patience for this. “The Herald,” he growled.

Seggrit’s lazy smirk widened and he responded with, “What’s this information worth to you?” The Commander slammed his hand down on Seggrit’s table of wares and brought his face within inches of the merchant’s. Seggrit’s eyes widened and he jerked back. “S-She went that way,” he pointed to the right. “Said something about the bath house.”

Cullen walked away without a word, somehow even angrier than before. He came up to the bath house and opened the door. And then he stopped short. Yup, she was there, all right.

Naked.

In a tub, with her eyes closed and pouring water over her head to rinse herself off. Cullen’s face flushed and just as quickly as he entered, he backed out of the bath house and closed the door. He took a deep breath of the crisp mountain air and tried to push the image of her naked body out of his mind. _Well, she certainly didn’t look like_ that _the last time I saw her…_

Every ounce of anger had evaporated from him and was replaced with sheer embarrassment and a very slight arousal. Once he had calmed enough, he made his way back to the Chantry and walked back into the war room, his head slightly bowed.

“Well?” Leliana smirked at him. “Where is she?”

“We’re going to wait,” Cullen said.

 

• • •

 

Aeryn closed her eyes and lifted the bucket to rinse the dirt away from her hair. As the water flowed over her head and torso, she could’ve sworn she heard something, but when she opened her eyes and looked, there was no one there. She hesitantly shrugged it off and picked up the soap to wash her hair. It smelled of lavender and elfroot and she sighed in bliss as she massaged the soap into her scalp. She wanted to soak in that tub forever, but she knew there were people waiting on her. So she took one more moment to herself to enjoy the feeling of the hot water caressing her before she quickly finished washing and got out of the tub, using a mild heat spell to dry off.

She got dressed in the set of clothes that the elf had left for her and looked down at herself, grimacing. _Ugh… They look like pajamas._   _Are there no decent clothes in Haven? I would be arrested just for wearing this in Minrathous._ She ran her hands through her hair a couple of times, using the same heat spell from before to dry her hair before stepping out into the cold mountain air and walking to The Singing Maiden to get a bite to eat. Upon entering, she went immediately to the bar and the woman there introduced herself.

“My name’s Flissa, your Worship! Can I get you anything?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Flissa. And please, just call me Aeryn. But some bread and cheese would be wonderful,” Aeryn smiled.

“Of course, of course! Coming right up!” She flitted about and disappeared for a second before reappearing with a small loaf of bread and a small block of cheese. “I’m sorry it’s not more, but we don’t have much in the way of resources right now.”

Aeryn took the food gratefully and smiled and shook her head. “It’s plenty, thank you. How much do I owe you?”

Flissa set her face in a stubborn pout and shook her head. “Not a thing, m’lady. You stopped the breach from getting any bigger, it’s the least I can do!”

Her mouth twitched into an uncomfortable smile. “Ah, well… thank you, Flissa.” Flissa’s smile returned and she went back to attending to the other patrons. While she wasn’t looking, Aeryn dug out a gold sovereign that she had tucked away before leaving her cabin and placed it over the counter for Flissa to find when she came back. But before the bubbly barkeep could return, Aeryn took her food and snuck out of the tavern.

She ate as she walked and found herself face to face with Solas, who seemed deep in thought. _I can spare a minute…_ she thought. _Just to say thank you. Again. I need to finish this bread, anyway_. She took a large bite and Solas noticed her. With her mouth full. Because of course he did.

“Hello there. How are you feeling?” he asked.

She smiled at him with her eyes as she finished chewing her bite, swallowed and then replied. “Much better now that I’ve had a chance to eat and bathe. But I assume you mean from the whole ‘closing the rift and getting knocked out’ business?”

He gave her a small smile and nodded.

“I think I’m doing well. I don’t feel sore or hurt anywhere, and I definitely should after that fall. So I assume I have you to thank for my lack of pain?”

“I did heal you after you were knocked back, yes.”

“Well thank you. You seem to be saving my life a lot,” she smiled.

“Only when it is necessary.” He still had that small smile on his face and his eyes were soft, but there was… something behind them. Something she couldn’t read. _He’s so different from the Dalish…_ she thought. _He’s seen things. But something’s… off._

“I promise, I’m not usually this accident-prone,” she smirked. And then she thought about everything that had happened recently and laughed. “Well, I never _used_ to be.”

He returned her laugh with a chuckle. “It is quite all right, I assure you, I do not mind.”

“Well that’s a relief.” She took another bite of her cheese, the bread long gone, and swallowed before speaking again. “I should get going, though. Apparently Cassandra asked to see me the moment I woke up.”

“Then you should not keep the Seeker waiting.”

She grinned. “Probably not. But I just wanted to say thanks again. I’ll see you later!” Solas nodded and she turned to finish her trek to the Chantry.

Solas returned to his thoughts, but now they were plagued with questions about their new religious messiah. _Her magic feels so different from any mage I have encountered before, but why?_

Aeryn walked through the Chantry doors just as she finished her last bite of cheese and found herself walking down a very long, very straight hallway, which led into the war room. Or at least, she assumed so. When she pushed open the heavy wooden door, the first voice she heard was that of Chancellor Roderick’s.

“Arrest her and take her to Val Royeaux to face execution!” he yelled and Cassandra and Leliana both rounded on him, defending her once again, while also implying that _he_ could have been the one at fault for the breach. He stuttered in indignation and stormed out the door. Aeryn watched him go and snorted a laugh as the door slammed behind him.

“Sorry I’m late, but I didn’t want to pass out from hunger during our meeting, or make any of you pass out from my stench,” she joked as she turned to face the Inquisition’s leaders. Her eyes looked over the three women who were standing around the table and she knew Cassandra and Leliana, but she did not recognize the dark-skinned noblewoman at the table. She introduced herself as Josephine Montilyet, the Inquisition’s ambassador. She smiled and nodded in greeting and introduced herself. Her eyes kept moving and they landed on the Commander. Her breath rushed out in a hiss and she felt like she had been punched in the gut. “Cullen?” she whispered.

He looked slightly embarrassed as he returned her stare, but mostly he was glaring daggers at her. “Lady Trevelyan,” he stated.

“Good to see you remember him,” Cassandra said. “Cullen is the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces.”

Aeryn was speechless. _So_ he’s _the one from Kinloch Hold._ She gathered herself and quirked an eyebrow as she muttered to herself, “It could be worse.”

“Is there a problem?” Cullen asked calmly. Too calmly. _What’s he up to...?_

“No. No problem at all,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes. _There’s so much anger and contempt there. I thought he was starting to come back around. Or maybe it’s just there for me. Aren’t I special?_

“Cullen is no longer a Templar,” Leliana said. “He left the order to be a part of a greater cause.”

Aeryn’s eyebrows shot up as her head snapped up to look at the spymaster. That was the last thing she ever expected to hear. She was about to speak, but apparently Cullen just couldn’t resist the temptation to interrupt and poke at her.

“The last time I saw you, you were tranquil,” he stated, a hard look in his eyes and that statement sucked all the air right out of the room. Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine turned to stare at her with wide, unwavering eyes.

 _Two can play at this game_. Aeryn smirked and responded simply. “That’s not the last time you saw me.” Cullen looked a little confused, so she could take at least a little bit of pride in that. After a moment, she turned to Cassandra and quietly asked, “Do I need to be here?”

Cassandra looked between the mage and former Templar for a moment, confused out of her mind. Aeryn was staring at the table, down and away from Cullen and he was glaring at her. Cassandra responded while watching the Commander. “Yes. You have the power to seal the rifts. You need to be here.”

Aeryn took a breath and nodded once, returning her gaze to the map, but refusing to look up. Leliana and Josephine exchanged concerned looks from across the table.

Cassandra spoke about the Inquisition of old and her writ from the Divine before she officially declared the Inquisition reborn. And their first order of business as an organization was to get support from as many people as possible. Leliana sent ravens out to the rebel mages in Redcliffe, the Templars in Therinfal Redout, and the Chantry in Val Royeaux.

 

• • •

 

“We need the mages,” Leliana stated. “Their magic combined with yours and the mark, should give us enough power to seal the breach.”

“We need the Templars,” Cullen argued. “They can suppress the breach, allowing her to use only her own power with the mark to seal it.”

Josephine seemed to be leaning more toward the mages, but was otherwise impartial. _As befits a diplomat,_  Aeryn thought. And Cassandra didn’t seem to care much either way, she just wanted to close the breach and be done with it. Which was completely understandable.

Leliana and Cullen argued back and forth for several more minutes, leaving Aeryn’s mind to wander and then Josephine’s voice broke through. “First, we must gain some influence. Everyone is hesitant about supporting us. Without having any power in Thedas, neither side will join forces with us.”

“Josie is right,” Leliana said. “Which is why you will go to the Hinterlands. There is a Chantry Mother helping the refugees at the Crossroads named Mother Giselle. She has asked to speak with you personally.”

Aeryn smirked at the spymaster. “Are you sending me into a trap, Leliana?”

Leliana returned her smirk. “I am not. Mother Giselle is a kind soul and she is helping Templars and mages alike in the aftermath of the war. From what I can tell, she genuinely wants to help us and seems to have some ideas to bring the Chantry to our side. Speak with her. She may surprise you.”

Aeryn shrugged. “Well, I don’t have any better ideas, so I guess we’re going to the Hinterlands!” Cullen rolled his eyes and grumbled to himself. She couldn’t say she was all that thrilled to see him, either, but that had more to do with his reaction to her being there and dredging up a very painful part of her past.

She had been in Kirkwall right before Anders blew up the Chantry, and she saw that Cullen was on the road to change. He still followed Meredith, but not blindly. He doubted her. He was starting to see that what she was doing was wrong. But he wasn’t yet to the point of siding with the mages against his brothers in arms and the commander he had trusted for almost ten years.

And she couldn’t fault him for that. She _could_ fault him for seeming to hold a grudge against her from Kinloch Hold and she didn’t know why. There was nothing she wanted more than to forget that place and everyone in it, but she knew that would never happen. So she would settle for never talking about it.

Those memories _still_ haunted her dreams at times.

“Okay?” Leliana asked, looking directly at Aeryn.

Aeryn blinked and looked at her apologetically. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

Cullen grunted and Cassandra growled, “Would you pay attention for _once_?”

“Apologies, Seeker,” Aeryn said sarcastically. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Leliana interrupted before Cassandra could say anything. “It is alright, but we need you to focus. I said: you will leave for the Crossroads at first light to meet with Mother Giselle. While you are there, it would help if you could spread word of the Inquisition and try to make allies. Okay?”

Aeryn nodded. “Okay.”

Leliana spoke quieter this time. “And are _you_ okay?”

She responded with a small, tight smile and sad eyes. “I’m fine. Are we done?”

Leliana nodded once and Aeryn turned on her heels to leave the Chantry. She headed toward the front gate and as she passed by Varric, she heard him call out.

“Hey, firebird! Got a minute?” Aeryn stopped and looked at him for a moment before walking toward him. “So? How’d your ‘team leaders’ meeting go?” He joked.

She looked past him just long enough to make him realize something wasn’t quite right and then she met his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about Cullen?”

He sighed and dropped his gaze. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “There wasn’t really much of a chance. But honestly, I thought you two were on good terms. At least after Kirkwall-”

“He didn’t know that was me in Kirkwall, Varric. You know that.”

“Yeah. I know,” he sounded kind of ashamed of himself. “I just figured… you talked with him a lot in Kirkwall and you seemed to give him a fresh perspective. He changed a lot after your last conversation with him. He’s not the same guy you first met there who said that mages aren’t people.”

Aeryn broke eye contact, thinking over what he just said and comparing that to what she experienced in the Chantry. “Maybe not, but he certainly hates _me_.” Without waiting for the author to respond, she continued to her original destination: the smithy.

Harritt greeted her happily. “There she is! How does the new gear fit?”

She smiled at him and said, “It’s not quite what I’m used to, but it’s nice.”

“Good, good! Whatever you want me to make, I’ll make. Just bring me the supplies.”

Aeryn liked Harritt. He was gruff, but he was a kind soul and a good man. “That’s actually why I’m here. I need a new weapon,” she said. She also needed new armor, but she didn’t want to offend him, as he had just made this lovely set of mage armor for her. So she just resolved to not wear the leather coat with it. _The actual armor part_. She’d fought in less.

He looked confused. “The new staff not to your liking?”

She shook her head quickly. “No, no, it’s great. I just don’t want a staff. I need daggers.”

“A mage who uses daggers? Why?”

She shrugged and gave her simplest reason. “Staves are too bulky and they limit my movement. I don’t want that in battle.” Not the whole truth, but also not a lie. “So I just need a good, sturdy set of daggers that can also conduct magic if I need them to.”

Harritt nodded in understanding. “Fair enough. Let’s see what we can do!”

 


	3. Scarred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinterlands, Haven, and Solas tries to learn more about Aeryn.
> 
> And also maybe an altercation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated chapter!! It's longer and a bit more happens than in the previous version. Enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

 

Cassandra, Solas, Varric, and Aeryn ran around the Hinterlands, trying to help the refugees by collecting ram meat and finding caches of blankets. It was all tedious work, but it did the trick of getting Aeryn’s mind off of Cullen’s blatant distaste for her. Mostly, anyway.

She had met with Mother Giselle earlier, as Leliana had requested, and she was right. Mother Giselle was a sweet woman with genuine intentions. She had been pleasantly surprised when she heard the Chantry Mother try to assuage an injured refugee’s concerns about the healing mages and their magic.

“Go to Val Royeaux,” she had said. “Speak with them. Show them that you are not to be feared and that the Inquisition can be trusted.”

 _Easier said than done,_  she had thought, but it was worth a try. So they would go to Val Royeaux. But first, these refugees needed help. There were rebel mages and rogue Templars all over the place and they didn’t seem to care who got caught in the crossfire. All this dissonance had attracted the attention of several groups of bandits, so now the refugees also had to be afraid of them. Aeryn and her companions wanted to make sure that the innocents had nothing to fear when seeking safety and shelter from the fighting. At the very least, they should be equipped to handle the coming winter, hence their search for the ram meat and blankets.

Cullen had also mentioned to Cassandra that it would be a good idea to talk to Horsemaster Dennet and try to gain his help and his mounts for the Inquisition. Aeryn thought it was a great idea. Riding a horse would beat walking on foot _everywhere_ in Thedas. But the meeting with Dennet didn’t go quite as anyone had hoped. He wanted watch towers built on Redcliffe Farms to help with the bandit problem and there had been some issues with wolves. Cassandra wrote a missive to Cullen about getting the watch towers built as soon as possible and then the group went off in search of these strange wolves.

“They’re possessed,” Solas said with a hint of awe in his voice.

“I didn’t know animals could get possessed,” Aeryn said as she dodged a particularly vicious wolf charging at her. She hit one of its legs with a blade and it stumbled, but quickly regained its footing and kept running. _Yeah, definitely possessed. It should be crying on the ground._

“Neither did I,” Cassandra and Varric said in unison as they continued their attacks.

“Okay, so we improvise,” Aeryn huffed and charged a wolf with her blades and dropped it in seconds. The other wolves were relentless, though. She charged another one and as she struck, charged her blades with electricity that hopped from one wolf to another. It was successful and knocked all the wolves in the area down, making it easier for everyone to attack. After the charge, the wolves were taken care of fairly quickly and then they were face to face with a terror demon, which they were able to dispatch easily with their 4 on 1 advantage.

Dennet was thrilled to hear about the wolves and the watchtowers, but he also refused to give the inquisition any horses until the towers were complete, and he was assured about the safety of the farmers. “Once the towers are finished, I will send some of my finest mounts to Haven to help with the Inquisition’s efforts.”

“You won’t be coming with them?” Aeryn asked. “We don’t have many stable hands and we definitely don’t have anyone with your expertise…. You’d be a valuable asset, Master Dennet. And you’d be paid… reasonably… Well. You’d be paid.”

He seemed to consider Aeryn’s words for a moment before relenting. “Aye, well, I suppose I'll be joining them, then. I have to make sure they're well cared for.”

However, Master Dennet did agree to give the four of them horses for the time-being. Aeryn smiled and she could feel the rest of the group relax. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

 

• • •

 

    Solas spent the better part of their return trip prodding Aeryn with questions about her magic. “It feels different than any magic I have encountered before,” he said.

    “Yeah, I guess it probably is,” she shrugged.

    “Do you know what the cause is?”

    “I have an idea.” She was starting to shut down and Varric was about to jump in, to stop Solas from asking anything else, but Solas beat him to it.

    “Well? What is it?”

    Aeryn’s face fell ever so slightly and she kept her gaze forward. She wanted to tell him because she respected him, but even ten years later, she still had a hard time verbalizing it. “I don’t like talking about it.”

    Solas’ face went from eager curiosity to confusion to mild understanding within a few moments. “It is personal.”

    Aeryn nodded slightly. “Yes.” Solas nodded in response and ceased his questioning as Varric rode up beside Aeryn and put his hand comfortingly on her arm. She gave him a small smile and Solas asked another question.

    “Do you mind my asking - why do you use daggers instead of a staff? A mage of your talent, a staff seems better suited.”

    Aeryn looked at him and contemplated not answering. She knew that Cassandra was listening intently to hear the answer, as well. Varric already knew, but he knew her pretty well. She sighed. _I should tell them._ _We’ll be travelling together a lot, so I guess it couldn’t hurt to form some kind of relationship with them._ “Daggers afford me more freedom, I guess. Staves are bulky and I don’t need one to focus my magic. I have a pretty good handle on it. They also weaken a mage’s magic, at least staves made outside of Tevinter do. But I, uh… I don’t like having to depend on my magic as my only form of defense. Especially if I’m up against Templars. If I rely on it too much and they knock my magic out, I’m useless. With my blades, I’m not.”

    Cassandra stayed quiet, presumably thinking over everything Aeryn just said. She silently wondered what exactly had happened to this young woman in her life. Solas nodded thoughtfully. “I can see how that would be a comfort.”

    Aeryn stared forward for the rest of the trip, lost in thought, and Solas watched her, questions running through his head the whole time. _Maybe I should visit her dreams tonight,_  he thought.

 

• • •

   

    Their arrival in Haven was less of a spectacle than Cassandra seemed to think it would be. There was no one to greet them at the gate aside from the recruits in the training yard and a girl who was sitting against a wall watching them train. But it was that girl who had been sitting against the wall that jumped up as soon as she saw them arrive and ran over, offering to take care of their horses.

They all dismounted and let the girl take the reigns of their mounts and they walked through the gates of the village. Nobody was around, at least not in the immediate vicinity, but voices could be heard from a distance. From the sound of things, there was something going on at the Chantry.

As Cassandra and Aeryn followed the noise to see just what exactly was going on, Varric took up his post by the fire pit and Solas turned off to avoid the crowd and go back to his cabin. But not before stopping Aeryn and pulling her aside for a quick word.

“I wanted to apologize for the other day. I meant no offense, it’s just that your power fascinates me. Your magic is so much more potent than that of any other mage I’ve met outside of the Fade.”

She cocked her head slightly. “What do you mean ‘outside of the Fade?’”

Solas’ mouth twitched up into a small smile. “Of course. It seems I’ve forgotten to mention that I am what some call a Fade-walker, or a Dreamer. I can consciously wander the Fade while I sleep.”

Aeryn’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Well that’s…” She chuckled and shook her head. “That’s really fascinating.”

He nodded. “It is amazing. To be able to experience historical events, see things that happened so long ago… There is nothing like it.” He smiled and Aeryn could tell that being in the Fade was what made him happiest.

Aeryn smiled, feeling like she was getting to know him better, even just with that small bit of insight. But then she remembered why Solas being a Somniari wasn’t such a good thing. Keeping her smile in place, she politely excused herself and continued toward the ruckus outside of the chantry. _If he tries to find my dreams, he’ll know._ She couldn’t let that happen. She could barely face those memories herself, the last thing she wanted was for an almost-complete stranger to see them.

When she neared the noise, she saw Cassandra stopped at the crowd that had formed in front of the Chantry. As she looked closer, she saw that Cullen was breaking up a fight between a mage and a Templar, both blaming the other for the Divine’s death.

“Knight-Commander,” the Templar started and Cullen rounded on him with a look so fierce, she would’ve been frightened if it had been turned on her.

“That is _not_ my title. We are no longer Templars and mages, we are _all_ a part of the Inquisition.” He spoke so passionately that nobody in the fight could argue. They just walked away.

Aeryn’s eyebrows scrunched together and she bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about what he said. _We’re all part of the Inquisition, huh? Interesting._ The crowd dispersed, but she kept watching him. His shoulders slumped when he thought nobody was looking and he started rubbing his head and pacing. An agent walked up to him and he snapped at the poor guy. What a temper.

 

Over the next few days at Haven, Aeryn watched Cullen discreetly whenever she got the chance. She had a very strong suspicion as to what was bothering him, but she wasn’t quite ready to voice it. But, if she was right, and she were to help him… maybe that would soften his disposition toward her.

Varric approached her as she sat on a wall just outside of the gates, drawing the scenery of the surrounding mountains. He caught her when she watched the Commander rub his head again and snap at some recruits because they weren’t holding their shields up. “See something you like?” he teased.

She rolled her eyes and glanced at him quickly. “I see something very familiar.”

“He is a handsome devil, isn’t he?” he asked, more teasing in his voice.

Aeryn scoffed. “I meant his symptoms.”

Varric’s expression turned serious. “You could always talk to him about it.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m pretty sure I’m the last person he wants to talk to. Especially about something this personal.”

“You never know, Firebird. I told you. He’s changed.”

She hesitated, watching the Commander for a moment more before nodding slightly. “I can see that.”

  
• • •

 

    “Are you insane? You want to send the Herald to the two groups who want her dead?” Cullen very loudly questioned Josephine. Aeryn had been watching the discussion about Val Royeaux for almost ten minutes now without having had a single input. It’s not like they were discussing her life or anything. Oh, wait…

    “Perhaps we should find out what _she_ thinks,” Josephine said and everyone turned their attention to her.

    She raised her eyebrows and very calmly stated, “This is a terrible idea.”

    Cullen looked like he was about to agree, but Cassandra spoke up first. “I will go with her. No one will harm you,” she said directly to Aeryn.

    She almost laughed. “Oh, I’m not worried about my safety.”

    “Then why is it a terrible idea?” Josephine asked.

    Aeryn hesitated and thought over her answer. Truth or half truth? ... _Cullen was there, so… truth it is_. “Right, so uh… Ten years ago, I may or may not have become public enemy number one for the Order. I’m not worried about my wellbeing in meeting with them - I can take care of myself, I’m more concerned about the Inquisition itself. As far as I know, the Order as a whole still hates me and may even still be looking for me… If you want the Chantry and the Templars to help, then I am the last person you should send. I would ruin your credibility once and for all.”

    Cullen watched her as she spoke and the longer she talked, the darker his glare became. It did not escape Aeryn’s notice. _Okay, so my escape is still a sore spot for him. ...Is_ that _why he hates me?_

    “The people regale you as the Herald of Andraste. If the Inquisition were to appeal to the Chantry without  Andraste’s chosen, _that_ would ruin our credibility,” Josephine argued.

    Aeryn put her hands up in surrender. “Okay. I’m not saying I won’t go, just that it’s a terrible idea and letting you all know that if things go south, it’s not my fault.”

    “Of course not, nothing ever is,” Cullen muttered under his breath. Aeryn’s eyes snapped to him. She had to talk to him. Today. This could not go on for much longer, especially since they had to work so closely together. It was getting ridiculous.

    “You will depart at first light,” Leliana said and then the meeting was declared adjourned.

    Aeryn stayed rooted in her spot at the war table and as everyone started to move, she quietly called out, “Commander, could I have a word?” Cullen stopped moving, but said nothing. He didn’t even look at her as the three other women left. Once the door was shut, she sighed, not knowing how to start this conversation. So she decided to be nice. “How’s your head?”

    “Did you need something?” he asked impatiently in response.

    _Okay, right to it then._  “Well for starters, I could help you with your headaches. My brother quit taking lyrium, too. I helped him through it. And Cullen, I think it really would help you.”

Cullen sneered and snapped, “I don’t need your help.”

”Okay, yeah. I wanted to talk to you about _that._  Every day, I hear you talk to the soldiers, templars and mages, and tell them that our pasts don’t matter. We’re all a part of the Inquisition now and we should respect one another. You get _angry_ if someone refers to you as Knight-Captain or Knight-Commander, and I understand why. It’s clear you’re not that cruel, judgmental person anymore, but you’re very hypocritical toward me. You don’t treat me like I’m part of the Inquisition, and unfortunately, I’m kind of an important part,” she held up her marked hand. “I would just like to know… _why_.”

    He finally looked at her and the anger in his eyes burned. “ _Why?_ ” he hissed. “You attacked the man who convinced the Knight-Commander to let me join the Templars, one of my closest friends within the order. _In cold blood_. And then somehow, after you became tranquil, you attacked him again and escaped.” His tone reached a steady volume that was just slightly too loud and his tone was sharp.

    As he spoke, Aeryn listened and anger started to bleed into her eyes, as well. “In cold blood?” she exclaimed. “Are you kidding?” His glare never wavered and she sighed, eyes softening sadly. “You never read that letter, did you? I mean, I never really expected you to, but I’d hoped-wait. You said I _attacked_ him again, but I think you mean that I _killed_ him.” Worried confusion started to take over and Cullen’s expression turned dark. She had only ever seen that expression when he was Knight-Captain in Kirkwall…

    “No, I didn’t. After you disappeared, I rushed Knight-Lieutenant Dudley to the Infirmary where the healers were able to save him.”

    “What?!” Aeryn shouted. “Do you have _any_ idea what he did to me? All-”

    “Whatever it was, I’m sure you deserved it,” he interjected and she felt like she’d been kicked by a horse.

    She stared in stunned silence, trying to read his expression. It never faltered. She felt the stinging of tears behind her eyes and as they threatened to spill, she lowered her gaze. She breathed in and out a couple of times before speaking quietly. “What did I ever do to you to make you despise me like this? I was wrong. You haven’t changed at all.” She looked at him once more and with a challenge in her eyes said, “ _Knight-Captain,_ ” before turning and walking out of the Chantry.

    Walking hastily toward Haven’s front gate, Varric walked toward her as she approached. “So? How’d it go?” he asked.

    Without stopping or looking at him, she said, “You were wrong,” and walked out of Haven.

 


	4. Val Royeaux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT PLEASE READ (2/7/18)
> 
> Hi, everyone! I am SO sorry that it took me this long to get a new chapter out. I lost inspiration to write for a long time and other life things got in the way, but I’ve had a ton of inspiration this week, so I’ve been working really hard on this for you all!
> 
> Chapters 1-3 have all been re-written, as I feel I didn’t set it up quite well enough for what I want to do with this story. So if you read those chapters before today, PLEASE go back and re-read them! This chapter and the rest to follow will not make much sense to you if you don’t. Happy reading!!
> 
> SUMMARY:  
> Cullen feels guilty, new friends join for adventures, and Aeryn doesn’t like bullies.

**Chapter 3**

Cullen rubbed his head as he walked out of the Chantry. This headache was one of the worst he’d had since he quit taking lyrium. It had been bad earlier, but his conversation with Trevelyan certainly didn’t help matters.

He might have been a bit harsh. She was offering to help him, after all. But he didn’t like that his withdrawal was so obvious and it made him irrationally angry to have her pick up on it and then offer something he never asked for.

He knew that quitting lyrium would be hard when he made the decision to do it. He knew that some days would be worse than others and he knew that he would likely need help at some point. But he didn’t _want_ help. After everything he’d done in Kirkwall, he definitely didn’t deserve it. The pain and cravings were his retribution. He would deal with it. It had always been his dream to be a Templar; now it was just a cruel joke. Everything he was dealing with, he brought upon himself.

Cullen pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to lessen the pressure when he heard, “Hey, Curly!” He groaned and lowered his arms to see Varric approaching him.

“What is it, dwarf?” he grumbled.

“Headache? You know, I believe Aeryn offered to help you with that. But when I just saw her walk out the front gate, it looked like helping anyone was the last thing she wanted to do.” Varric had stopped just in front of him with crossed arms.

Cullen groaned again. “You know, too? Of course she couldn’t keep her bloody mouth shut.”

“Hey, she didn’t tell me anything outright. Just that she recognized symptoms of something ‘familiar.’ I knew what she helped her brother through, so I put two and two together,” he said. “It’s not something that people will notice if they’re not looking for it, so you can relax. But she really could’ve helped you. Now I’d be surprised if she talks to you when she doesn’t have to.”

Cullen sighed. “I may have been a bit harsh with her. But to be completely honest, I don’t quite remember what I said. Everything is a bit… fuzzy. It was hard for me to concentrate.” In truth, he had wanted to alleviate the pain somehow and for some reason, he had thought that hurting her would take some of that pain away. But it hadn’t worked and it just made him feel worse.

“Can I ask? What did she do to you? Because I know her pretty well and she’s not a mean person.”

“To me personally?” He thought about it for a moment, trying to recall the time before the time that he wanted to forget. “Nothing. But she did try to murder the man I admired most in the Fereldan Circle. He was like a brother. He treated me as his equal, he vouched for me when I needed it. Maker, he’s the reason I was able to join the Order at all. And she tried to kill him.”

Varric nodded and stayed quiet for a moment. But only a moment. “Like I said. I know her pretty well and she’s a good person. She’s not into murdering people, especially for shits and giggles.”

Cullen was annoyed. His headache was getting worse by the second and Varric wouldn’t just let it go. “Then why would she try to kill him? Knight-Lieutenant Dudley is a good man.”

Varric shrugged. “Maybe you should ask her.”

Cullen opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could, a large explosion went off in the distance and, quite frankly, he was shocked it didn’t cause an avalanche. “Maker’s breath, what was that?!”

Varric watched the smoke rise and sighed sadly. “Years of hard work falling apart.”

 

“Has anyone seen the Herald?” Cassandra yelled. They were supposed to be on the road almost an hour ago and Aeryn was yet to be found. Solas was waiting against a wall just outside the gate and Cassandra was yelling at Cullen’s soldiers, demanding that they find her.

Varric walked up to Solas before plopping on the ground next to him so he could calibrate Bianca and make sure she was in tip top shape.

“Varric,” Cassandra snapped and he lazily looked up at her. “Where is she?”

He shrugged and looked back down at his beloved crossbow. “She’ll be here, Seeker. Relax.”

“Relax?” She asked incredulously. “How am I supposed to relax?!” We need to get to Val Royeaux as soon as possible and we should be well on our way already. The breach is still open, the mages and Templars won’t even talk to us yet, and the only one who can close the fade rifts that have popped up _everywhere_ is _missing._ So please! Tell me how I should relax.” _Her accent gets thicker the more worked up she gets_ , Varric thought with a chuckle.

“I’m here.”

Cassandra whirled around to face Aeryn and was glad to see that she was at least dressed for combat. “You are late.”

Aeryn wouldn’t meet anyone’s gaze and rather than stand there and argue with the angry Seeker, she walked over to her horse and started preparing her for the long ride ahead. “I’m sorry. I had some… things to take care of.”

“Things? What things could be more important than closing the breach?” Cassandra was getting loud again.

Aeryn sighed and leaned her head against her mare’s neck before turning to face the Seeker. “Everything since I woke up in the dungeons has happened so fast. I haven’t really had a chance to properly mourn Cedric’s death. I went to the temple last night. I… I had to talk to him,” she said quietly, a single tear falling down her face.

Cassandra looked shocked. “Was that explosion from you?”

Aeryn nodded. “I’m sure it looked much worse than it was. It was in the air. I didn’t want to desecrate the dead any more than they already had been.”

Solas watched silently as Cassandra racked her brain for something to say. Varric beat her to it. “How was it?”

Aeryn turned slightly to look at him. “Painful. First time in twenty-two years that he didn’t respond. I think it helped, though.”

Varric nodded and didn’t press it any further. He knew that she would most likely talk to him about in more detail later, but right now, there were prying ears present and he knew she didn’t want to share her past with people she didn’t trust completely.

Cassandra collected herself and resumed her previous pace of getting ready to depart.

“Lady Cassandra!” Cullen’s voice came from behind Varric and he watched Aeryn stiffen before turning back to her mare to rub her neck some more. “You haven’t left yet. Good.” He was slightly out of breath from running to them.

“Commander, what is it?” Cassandra asked, alarmed.

“I just wanted to wish you all safe travels. ... _And_ to stress the importance of gaining the Templars’ favor.” He moved his gaze to watch Aeryn, willing her to look at him so he could apologize for yesterday, but she was acting like he didn’t exist. And he couldn’t blame her. He had been rather… unpleasant. He sighed and looked back at Cassandra. “I assume that members of the Order will be present, as you will be meeting with members of the Chantry.”

Cassandra nodded. “I presume that, as well.”

“We need their help. Or at least their willingness to help.”

“Commander, we have not yet decided which group to approach-”

“I know,” he quickly cut in. “I know it is still undecided, but if we have their favor, then asking them later, should we choose to ask them, will be easier.”

“Would you like to come with us?” Aeryn asked quietly. Cullen wasn’t quite sure he had heard correctly. Surely she couldn’t want him around after yesterday. And he wasn’t too keen on the idea of being so near her, either, but as Varric had pointed out - she hadn’t actually done anything to him personally.

“I… Are you sure?” He asked, completely dumbfounded.

She took a deep breath before turning to face him and she nodded. “I’m sure the Templars would be much more willing to listen if you were there.” Her face was carefully expressionless. He couldn’t read her at all. But she certainly wouldn’t invite him along if she didn’t mean her words, right?

He nodded once. “If you can wait a few more minutes to leave, then I would be happy to join you.” _I want to apologize_. “I need to let Rylen know that he’s in charge and gather a few things.”

Aeryn nodded and looked at Cassandra, silently asking if they could wait. She grumbled, but nodded in agreement. He would definitely make things with the Templars easier. Cullen nodded once at her assent and turned on his heel to find Rylen.

Varric eyed Aeryn. “You sure about this, firebird?” She met his gaze for a moment and then turned back to her mare, saying nothing.

 

It was a 7 day ride to Val Royeaux and as they set up camp the first night, Aeryn was starting to regret asking Cullen to join them. She kept hoping that he would just talk with Cassandra, maybe Solas, but he kept looking at her and she didn’t want to talk to him. So she made sure to stick close to Varric at every camp and made excuses to go somewhere else, usually to Solas, whenever Cullen approached. Each time, Cullen sighed and walked back to his tent, deciding he’d try again tomorrow.

Finally, they reached the capital of Orlais. Gazing at the flowing, elegant architecture of the city, Aeryn and Cullen grunted in disgust simultaneously. They both had a mutual distaste for the extravagance of Orlais and its people with their ridiculous masks.

A scout ran up to them as they walked toward the market. “Lady Cassandra! The Templars are here.”

Cassandra nodded and shared a look with Cullen. “As we expected.”

“The people of the city seem to think that they’re here to protect them. From the Inquisition.”

Aeryn just shook her head, not wanting to deal with this nonsense, and she continued forward, leaving everyone behind to catch up. A crowd had already formed on the far side of the marketplace and a Chantry mother was standing over all of them, talking about the Inquisition being heretical and evil. She had the present Templars join her on the stage. And what a surprise, she called Aeryn out for murdering the Divine and claiming to be Andraste’s chosen.

“Okay, first of all, we are trying to restore order to Thedas and close the breach. Secondly, I have never claimed to be anything!” Aeryn yelled back to the fear-mongering woman.

The man who Cassandra identified as Lord Seeker Lucius reached out and hit the Chantry Mother so hard that she fell to the ground and a Templar behind him held another one back from helping her.

Cassandra and Cullen were shocked, and Aeryn was surprised that he seemed to turn on the Chantry, but she wasn’t really surprised that he hit her. She nodded and flexed the fingers on her right hand in her glove before calmly pushing through the crowd and stepping up onto the stage. Varric reached for her and tried to stop her with a low, “Aeryn…” but she kept moving. She stopped right in front of Lord Seeker Lucius and sized him up as he spoke.

“You dare approach me? You?!” He laughed. However, that laughter was cut short when a gloved fist plowed into the side of his face and knocked him down onto the platform.

Aeryn flexed her fingers again and shook out her hand as she glared down at him. “I don’t care that you think you’re more important than me, the Chantry, or the Inquisition. If I ever see or hear of you abusing someone, especially someone who is unable to defend themself, I will do worse to you.” Cullen and Cassandra gaped at the Herald and her dark words. Varric sighed and shook his head and Solas studied her thoughtfully. He had yet to find her dreams in the fade and he didn’t know why.

Lucius seethed up at her and yelled, “Templars, seize her! She is still wanted by the Order and she must face her punishment.”

The Templars stopped in their tracks as an electrical aura surrounded her and crackled aggressively. She looked at them sideways and spoke in a dangerous, low voice. “Try it.” The warriors looked at each other warily before stepping back and away from her.

Cullen was slightly horrified at what he was witnessing. This… this was not the way to gain the Templars’ favor. And it was definitely not the magic he remembered from Kinloch Hold. He could feel it. It was stronger than any mage he had encountered before, including the abominations and they were raw, uncontrollable power. And yet here she was, still herself and she seemed to be in perfect control of her magic. _Maker’s breath… how did she get this strong?_

If he could feel her power, then he knew the other Templars all felt it. And they all looked very unsettled. One carefully walked around her to help the Lord Seeker up and then they all followed suit in slowly backing away from her.

Solas was completely enamored. _That power. And look at her. She is beautiful. How could an ordinary human mage possess such energy?_ He watched her with an excited glint in his eye until he noticed the Templars had all started to leave and her aura faded out quickly, returning her to normal.

She turned and knelt down next to the Chantry Mother that Lucius had knocked down. “Are you alright?” She asked quietly.

The woman looked so conflicted. She looked both terrified and grateful at the same time. “You… Why did you do that? Why would you protect me? Threaten him on my behalf?”

Aeryn gave her a small smile and helped her stand. “He’s a bully. And I’ve dealt with enough of them to know if you want them to stop, you have to stand up to them. You have no way of defending yourself. I do,” she shrugged.

The Chantry Mother looked away from her defender. “I do not need your help.”

Aeryn sighed and rolled her eyes. “I’ve been hearing that a lot lately,” she mumbled and then spoke up for the devout woman to hear her. “Thank you works the same way, you know.” She turned and walked away, her companions following quietly behind until they came up to one of the Templars from earlier - the one who had tried to step in to defend the Chantry Mother. He stepped toward Aeryn and was about to say something when she held her hand up and stopped him. “If you’re about to try and capture me, you should stop right now. It won’t go well for you.” She was so tired. She just wanted to get back to Haven and try to get some rest without Solas trying to find her dreams.

The Templar held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not trying to capture you. I wanted to talk. I think what you did up there was incredibly brave, especially being surrounded by Templars. I’m honestly surprised Lord Seeker Lucius did not order us to purge your magic.”

Aeryn relaxed slightly and gave him a half smile. “So am I. You seem like a good guy, so I don’t want to be rude, but you said you wanted to talk? What about?”

He nodded. “I wanted to ask you for help, actually. My name is Ser Delrin Barris. I’ve been with the Order for almost fifteen years now and I’ve never seen the Lord Seeker act like that. Something troubling is happening within the Order and I don’t know what it is. I can’t figure it out.”

Aeryn looked at Cullen. “I think this may be more relevant to you, Commander,” she said and Cullen nodded, stepping forward. Cassandra followed suit.

“Perhaps we should speak somewhere more… private,” Cullen suggested and the three warriors walked off to talk, away from prying eyes and ears.

As Aeryn stepped back to join Varric and Solas, an arrow lodged itself in the ground directly in front of her. There was a message attached. Something about finding the red things around the market and following those clues.

While Cullen and Cassandra were talking to Ser Barris, Aeryn, Solas, and Varric found the red things and followed the clues all the way to a secluded courtyard just north of the city.

A fireball came flying toward her as she walked through a door and a short, masked man stood proudly in front of her. “Ah, Herald of Andraste! I shudder to think what the Inquisition expended to find me. It must have set you back greatly!” He said in a heavy Orlesian accent.

Aeryn studied him. “...Who are you?”

He let out a sharp laugh. “As if I believe you do not know who I am. I am too important for you to be so ignorant!”

She rolled her eyes and looked at Varric. She was so done. “I fucking hate Orlais.” Varric laughed heartily.

The man started to speak again and a blonde elf woman with a terrible haircut came out, pointing an arrow straight at his head. “Just say ‘what!’”

He turned swiftly. “What is the-” he fell over dead, an arrow sticking out of his neck.

“Eugh, squishy one, that. You heard me, right? Just say ‘what.’ Rich tits always try for more than they deserve,” she said as she pulled her arrow out of the man. Aeryn, Varric, and Solas stared at her, not quite sure what was happening. “Name’s Sera. That’s cover, get ‘round it. For the reinforcements. Won’t be a fair fight, though. Someone tipped me their supply shed. They don’t have any breeches,” she giggled.

Sure enough, the reinforcements came out, naked from the hips down. It was a quick fight and Sera actually explained who she was and why she was there. Sort of. Aeryn was pretty sure the Friends of Red Jenny were able to provide the Inquisition with spies and information, but it was really hard to understand the elf, so she may have been completely mistaken in Sera’s meaning. Only time would tell.

With Sera in tow, the group returned to the market where they were going to meet back up with Cullen and Cassandra, but they were stopped before they could make it.

“Lady Trevelyan. First Enchanter Vivienne de Fer of Montsimmard invites you to her home to speak about an alliance.” The messenger handed her an envelope and walked away. Aeryn stares at the envelope, confusion written all over her face, and finally opened it only to see that it said exactly what the messenger had told her.

Deciding she would pay Madame Vivienne a visit later, she shook her head and the group continued to look for the warriors. Cullen and Cassandra found them first and joined them, saying that what they learned was very vague and _very_ disturbing and they would need to discuss it once they were all safely back in Haven.

Together, they all made their way back to the entrance to the City. “Is he wearing a cat ‘round his shoulders?” Sera asked, looking at Cullen.

Cullen seemed to notice her for the first time after she spoke. “Wha-Herald, who is this?”

Aeryn fought the urge to roll her eyes at the ridiculous title. “This is Sera. She wants to help close the breach and she just joined the Inquisition. So she’ll be coming back to Haven with us.”

Cullen looked wary, but didn’t say anything more about it.

“So? Cat or no?”

Aeryn could see the exit. They were so close. _So_ close to being out of Val Royeaux when she heard a faint Orlesian accent say, “Herald?” And this time she did grumble at the title. When she turned, she was face to face with Grand Enchanter Fiona.

Maker, she was popular today.

 


	5. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart to hearts all around!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who keeps reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! I've been working on this story a little bit each day to try and balance it with all of my school work/game dev stuff/trying to find an adult job for after I graduate and all of your support means a lot to me and helps to keep me motivated to work on it.
> 
> So thank you.
> 
> Enjoy Chapter 4!

**Chapter 4**

  


The group returned to camp and immediately set about getting things ready for dinner. The scouts that had been holding their camp had been gracious enough to hunt while they were gone and they had more than enough to feed everyone there for a few days.

Aeryn was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up on her sleeping pallet and sleep for two months. Grand Enchanter Fiona had invited them to Redcliffe to meet with the rebel mages and that conversation had turned into an argument between the Commander and Grand Enchanter about why she wasn’t at the Conclave and shifted to Commander Cullen loudly telling Aeryn that Ser Barris’ reports were evidence that the Templars needed the Inquisition just as much as the Inquisition needed them.

So she had to break up that fight before it escalated and calm the Commander down. She let out a huge breath as she flopped face first onto her pallet and then groaned in pain. _Right. The ground is right there._ She was almost to the point of delirium, she was so tired. And it was no wonder. She hadn’t _actually_ slept since Solas told her that he was a Fade-Walker….

As Aeryn laid in her tent, Cassandra had decided that they would discuss a course of action once they returned to Haven and had a chance to meet with Leliana and Josephine. But for now, they all agreed to avoid the subject of who to meet with, so as to prevent dissonance within the camp. She then stated that they’d leave for Haven at first light.

The letter from First Enchanter Vivienne was burning a hole in Aeryn’s pocket. She grimaced and pulled herself up so she could poke her head out of her tent. “Um, actually… we have one more stop we need to make before we can go back.”

Four pairs of questioning eyes landed on her and she shrunk down slightly, tucking herself back into her tent just a little bit. “I’ve been invited to meet with the First Enchanter at some Duke’s estate.”

“Oh, of course,” the Commander mumbled. “Just what we need. More mages.” He saw Aeryn’s eyes tighten and immediately regretted his words. He had another headache coming on from what had happened in Val Royeaux and he prayed to the Maker that it didn’t get any worse.

Beyond the slight knee-jerk reaction to Cullen’s attitude, Aeryn ignored him. “I honestly think that with the Circle mages rebelling, she needs the Inquisition more than we need her, but she could prove helpful.”

“Do you know her?” Cassandra asked.

“I know _of_ her, but I’ve never met her personally, no.”

“Are you sure it is not a trap?”

Aeryn shrugged. “No, but if it is, I can take care of myself.”

When no one said anything else for a few minutes, Aeryn disappeared back into her tent and laid down to get some rest while also trying not to fall asleep. She had seen Solas watching her curiously and she assumed he was just waiting for her to conk out so he could find her in the Fade. _I can’t keep just_ not _sleeping,_ she thought.

After laying there for a while and almost dozing off several times, she groaned and rolled herself off of her pallet and walked out of her tent, ready to speak with the elf. He was sitting off to the side of the camp up against a tree and looked at her as she approached. She vaguely noticed that Varric and the Commander were missing, but she didn’t pay it much mind. She needed sleep, and she wasn’t going to let anything stop her from that.

 

“Varric, could I speak with you?” Cullen asked after the Herald had disappeared back into her tent.

“Sure, Curly. What’s on your mind?” Varric asked as he polished Bianca by the fire.

Cullen cleared his throat and glanced around. “Privately?”

Varric finally looked up at him. Cullen seemed… nervous? Varric nodded and returned Bianca to his back where she belonged and then followed the Commander a little way out of the camp.

“What’s troubling you?”

He didn’t know quite how to start, so instead of what he _wanted_ to talk about, he mentioned something that had been pulling at his mind. “The Herald is more powerful than any of us realized,” he said, referring to her display with the Lord Seeker in the market. “I’m concerned that we do not have enough of a Templar presence in Haven. You saw what happened in Kirkwall because of the overwhelming Templar presence. I don’t want that to happen again, so this time…” he trailed off.

Varric was shocked. “You mean you’ll actually listen to my suggestions?” He placed a hand over his heart. “I’m touched,” he smirked and then sobered quickly. “Joking aside, think back to what just happened with the Lord Seeker. At _any_ time during that altercation, did she look like she was losing control?” Cullen sighed and shook his head. “Don’t let your fear of magic start to rule over you again. She’s spent _years_ working to control her power and learn how to use it. It would take a lot more than a Templar hitting a Chantry mother to make her lose control. _A lot_ more.”

The Commander mulled over Varric’s words and nodded thoughtfully. “Alright.” Varric nodded and started to walk away, but Cullen stopped him. “There was one more thing. I’m… not proud of the way my last conversation with her ended and… I want...” he let out a breath. “I need to apologize to her. But she won’t talk to me. Not beyond formalities and Inquisition matters, anyway.”

“Well in my experience, if you want someone to talk with you, person to person… using their name instead of a title they never asked for is usually a pretty good place to start,” Varric suggested.

Cullen nodded and thanked Varric and they both started heading back to camp. Varric returned to his place by the fire and resumed polishing Bianca. Cullen continued walking toward Aeryn, but he stopped when he noticed she was talking to Solas. He didn’t necessarily _mean_ to overhear, but he also didn’t move any further away. He had to make it clear that he needed to talk to her.

She was speaking gently and respectfully to him. As though she didn’t want to hurt him. “I would just really appreciate it if you didn’t try to find me in the Fade... or watch me like a wolf waiting to pounce whenever I look tired. To be completely honest, I haven’t been able to sleep since you told me that you’re a Fade-Walker.”

Solas raised his eyebrows. “But I told you that almost two weeks ago.”

She nodded. “I know. And I’m sure you can tell how exhausted I am. I’ve dozed here and there, but never long enough to really do anything.”

“Why did you not say anything sooner?” The elf was genuinely concerned for her and Cullen frowned. He still didn’t trust Solas. Or Aeryn, for that matter, but she had been right before. They were all a part of the Inquisition, and as apostates, he realized that they were both risking their freedom by being there.

“I…” she sighed. “I don’t know.” She looked defeated with slumped shoulders and her head hanging down.

Solas took one step closer to her and gently lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eyes. “If the thought of me finding your dreams distresses you this much, then I promise I will not try. But can I ask why?”

She spoke quietly, almost too quietly for Cullen to hear. “I wouldn’t say that I… dream.” Solas looked confused, so she clarified. “A lot of really terrible stuff happened to me a while back and those memories haunt me while I sleep. Especially now, with the veil ripped open. Demons latch onto the pain and constantly make me relive it. And I’m… I’m just not ready for someone to _see_ that. It’s one thing if I talk about it, but seeing it is another thing altogether. And I’m not even ready to talk about it.”

Solas nodded in understanding and was quiet for a moment. “Are these ‘terrible things’ the reason that your magic feels so different?”

She nodded. “Some of them, yes.”

He gazed at her for a moment before slowly nodding. “Okay. You have my word that I will not look for your dreams.”

“Thank you,” she breathed.

 _It’s now or never_ , Cullen thought. “Aeryn?” He called gently.

Aeryn rose her eyebrows in shock and turned to look at the Commander. Solas quietly excused himself and walked to a tree just on the outside of their camp.

“Might I have a word with you?” He asked.

“You gonna kill me?” She asked.

Cullen scrunched his eyebrows together. “No,” he said.

“Harm me, threaten me, throw the Knight-Lieutenant in my face?”

He sighed. He deserved that. “No.”

She nodded once. “Okay then.” She followed him as he led her to where he spoke with Varric just a few moments ago.

An uncomfortable silence hung heavily between them for a few moments before Cullen finally broke it. “I wanted to apologize for what I said in the Chantry. It’s no excuse, but I did have an extraordinary headache that day. And you were right. I didn’t read that letter. I… actually think I burned it,” he looked ashamed and Aeryn nodded, expecting as much. “So I don’t know what he could’ve done to you to make you want to kill him, but I’m sure you didn’t deserve it. I just also don’t believe that he could’ve done anything _that_ bad. He’s a good man.”

Aeryn was shaking her head before he finished speaking. “No, Commander. He’s really not.”

Cullen sighed and ran a gloved hand over his face before bringing his full attention back to the woman in front of him. “What did he do?”

Aeryn faltered and stared at him, trying to find the words to let him know exactly what she went through. But instead, all that came out was, “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

Cullen was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Traumatic Kinloch Hold stories. Because there’s _no way_ you went from being the sweet, eager, young Knight-Templar I knew to the cruel, vindictive Knight-Captain of the Gallows, all because I tried to kill your hero.” She gave him a knowing look. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly not finding his words, so she spoke up for him. “It was something to do with the abominations, wasn’t it?” She asked quietly. Not judging or accusing, just simply asking.

He nodded slowly. “I… don’t like talking about that time,” he answered.

She quirked her eyebrow at his response. “Neither do I.” She sighed. “I won’t go into detail about anything, but I will tell you that I attacked him and tried to kill him because he hurt me. Very frequently and very badly.”

Cullen’s brows furrowed in confusion. “That… can’t be. He would never…” he trailed off and then his eyes snapped to her. “If he did that, why didn’t you report him? Try to stop him or defend yourself?”

Aeryn let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “I _did_ defend myself. I was made tranquil for it.”

Without looking at her, Cullen asked quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Aeryn didn’t respond. She was waiting for him to look at her, so when he did, she took a breath and started to explain. “That conversation would’ve gone one of two ways. One - you wouldn’t have believed me, and you would’ve hated me for spreading lies. Two - you wouldn’t have believed me _at first_ and you would've hated me for spreading lies, but then once it started to make sense, you would’ve spiraled. Being a Templar was your _dream_ , Cullen. To find out that the cause you’d given your life to, without question, was corrupt? And abused the very people it was supposed to protect?” Cullen looked down again, wishing she were wrong, but he knew she wasn’t. He had forgotten how well she had known him back then. Aeryn sighed. “But also, I didn’t say anything because… he knew of my… affection for you. And he used it to blackmail me into submission.” Now it was Aeryn who wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Cullen kept willing her to look at him as she talked, but her gaze was unfocused and trained on something far behind him and off to the side. “He said that if I fought back or told anyone what he was doing, he’d bring you in with him and that he'd do worse to you than anything he’d done to me. And I would've had to watch as he tortured and probably killed you.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I couldn’t let that happen.”

Cullen’s head was reeling with all this information. It wasn’t possible and yet it made sense. But he didn’t want it to. Dudley Fornier was the man who had vouched for a scrawny thirteen year old boy. He had convinced Knight-Commander Greagoir to recruit him. He wouldn’t have done that. And yet, if she was right... if he had tried to hurt Cullen… “I could’ve defended myself. He wouldn’t have been able to hurt me,” Cullen said softly, but with conviction.

Aeryn shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t have. He was your idol. You never would’ve suspected him of treachery, so you would’ve been caught completely off guard and you wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.”

He didn’t want to admit she was right, but she was. And she knew it. He was still confused, though. “If what you say is true, then why did you attack him and escape at all?” Not that he thought she should’ve stayed and put up with more pain, but…

“Well, I thought I  _had_ killed him. It was my complete intention to kill him so that he wouldn’t go after you or anyone else, ever again. You kind of ruined that,” she said with a hint of humor in her tone. He bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck and then remembered _all_ of his other questions.

“How did you even manage that escape? You were tranquil.” Aeryn didn’t even have the chance to inhale before he asked her another question. “How did you reverse your tranquility?”

She sighed and looked away. “That’s enough questions for today,” she said quietly and started to head back to camp.

Cullen realized that he had pushed her too far and reached out an arm to stop her. “Wait. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t press the issue, especially when I won’t talk about my experience.” She nodded, but kept her gaze toward camp. “I did have one more thing I wanted to talk to you about, however,” he started.

She finally turned to look at him, giving him her full attention.

“In the Chantry, you said you could help with my… withdrawal,” he choked out the word and she nodded patiently. “I was rude and ungrateful. But I would actually be very glad for any aid you could provide, having helped your brother through this.”

She smiled at him and he was suddenly struck with the memory of her smiling and laughing as they talked in the Circle. “Of course, Cullen. I don’t have all the herbs I need, but I’m sure Adan has them. I’ll gather more of what I can while we’re out and make the potion as soon as we get back. How’s your head now?”

He returned her smile and let out a sigh of relief. “It hurts, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he said, deciding that being honest about his pain was the best way to go.

“I have some healing potions, if you need any pain relief right now. It won’t be as effective as the potion I’m going to make, but it would be something.”

He shook his head. “I appreciate that, but no, I am fine for now.”

“Okay,” she said. “Just be sure to let me know if that changes. Lyrium withdrawal isn’t easy, but you don’t have to be in constant pain because of it. But if you want me to help you, it's _very_ important that you're honest with me about how you're feeling. No putting up a strong front around me.”

He didn’t necessarily agree, but if he didn’t physically _have_ to be in pain, he certainly didn’t want to. And he knew he'd have to be honest with her. “Thank you, Her- Aeryn.”

She gave him another memory-inducing smile and turned to go back to camp.

  
  



	6. New Allies and an Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivienne joins the Inquisition, the war council meets, Aeryn tries to help Cullen, and an old friend shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Here's the latest chapter! It's a bit longer than previous chapters because there was a lot I had originally planned to happen and then more details/conversations just kind of happened while I was writing.  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

  
  


The rest of their return trip to Haven was civil and rather uneventful, aside from recruiting Vivienne. As Aeryn had mentioned before departing their camp near Val Royeaux, they had to make a trip to the Ghislain Estate, and that trip took them just over four days on horseback. Nobody else had wanted to go into such an ornate building, being as dirty as the entire group was, but Aeryn had no choice. The invitation was to  _ her _ . And while she had no love for her noble birth, she also knew that even though she wasn’t on good terms with her family, that didn’t mean that she could say and do what she really wanted to. Her actions no longer reflected only on the Trevelyans. They reflected on the Inquisition. And as much as she wished she hadn’t been thrown into the role of ‘Herald of Andraste,’ she believed in the Inquisition and its ability to help people and create change. 

So she had been a delight with First Enchanter Vivienne, despite the fact that the haughty woman rubbed her the wrong way. Her tone, her posture, and even her clothes were all meant to make everyone around her feel inferior. Her sentences were carefully constructed to make sure the recipient knew that she was better than them without her having to say it outright. And her use of frivolous magic with the noble who had challenged Aeryn was a show, put on merely for the sake of making everyone believe that she was the most powerful woman in the room and that she held all the authority. 

Which, she did. It  _ was _ her home. She could do whatever she wanted. But she certainly wasn’t the most powerful woman in the room. Though, Aeryn had no intention of making Vivienne aware of that little fact. 

The First Enchanter could put on the performance of a lifetime, if she chose to. Aeryn didn’t care. What bothered her was that Vivienne was  _ clearly _ playing The Game and it was solely for her. And that meant that Aeryn had to play The Game with Vivienne, as well, and she didn’t know if she had the energy to do that  _ all the time _ . Politics, scheming, lies, and half-truths… it was all exhausting. 

Vivienne was threatened by Aeryn and the thought made her chuckle. The First Enchanter wanted to make her feel small and insecure. And it wouldn’t work. 

The two women moved over to a secluded spot by a beautifully trimmed stained glass window - _ fucking Orlais _ \- to discuss Madame De Fer’s interest in the Inquisition. The tall, elegant woman spouted off pretty words and composed statements about wanting to help, but the longer she talked, the more Aeryn realized she had been right earlier. Vivienne needed the Inquisition more than they needed her. The circles were falling to shit and the First Enchanter no longer had a place in the world. She had nobody but servants to boss around. 

Aeryn nodded along with what Vivienne was saying and chimed in with her own pretty words and composed statements, trying to further read the woman in front of her. Madame De Fer was exceptionally skilled at The Game. And ultimately, as much as she didn’t want to, that’s what made Aeryn agree to Vivienne joining them. Right now, the Inquisition didn’t have much of a foothold anywhere. But having Vivienne on their side could definitely help to further their influence. And once the Inquisition grew -  _ then  _ they may have to deal with nobles and royalty and Orlesians, and if Vivienne was there to play The Game for the Inquisition, then maybe Aeryn wouldn’t have to. 

“Welcome to the Inquisition, Vivienne,” Aeryn said with a gracious smile, which Vivienne returned. 

“Thank you, my dear. I will meet you at Haven as soon as I am able.”

Her return to camp was met with questioning glances. “Well? What did the First Enchanter want?” Cassandra asked expectantly. 

“She wanted to join us. She’s going to meet us back at Haven,” Aeryn responded before mounting her horse and preparing to leave. 

  
  


As they dismounted their horses at Haven, Aeryn had every intention of going straight to Adan to see if he had the remaining ingredients she needed for Cullen’s potion. Cassandra had different plans. 

“We need to have a war council meeting right now,” she said as she started walking toward the gates. 

Aeryn glanced at Cullen. He looked tired. She looked back to the Seeker. “Wh- uh… could it wait? 2 hours. I sort of promised I’d do something as soon as we returned…” she trailed off and looked back at Cullen to find him watching her. 

“No, this cannot wait. We have already lost almost a fortnight due to travel and our side trip to the Ghislain Estate. We have much we need to discuss.”

Aeryn walked over to Cullen and asked him quietly, “How’s your head?”

He gave her a slight smile and rubbed his temple lightly. “It’s not unbearable.”

Aeryn searches his eyes for a moment and then shook her head. “30 minutes,” Aeryn said loud enough for Cassandra to hear. She at the very least had to get things going. She could show Adan how to mix it and distill the potion, which would probably be better anyway, since he’d be around Haven more than her. He’d be able to make it whenever he needed to, so long as he had the ingredients. 

She was also caked in dirt from the ride back and she was fairly certain the soldiers could hear her stomach growling, but she knew her limits for hunger. If her stomach was growling, she could wait a bit longer. If her stomach had been growling for a while and then  _ stopped _ , she needed food immediately. 

So for now, she could wait. Cullen’s headache was going to get a lot worse very quickly. Cassandra nodded tersely and continued through the gates of Haven. 

Cullen got her attention once more. “Really, I’m fine. I can wait until after our meeting.”

Aeryn looked at him. “I know you can. But the potion takes a couple hours to distill. And I recognize that look in your eyes. I saw it a million times when Cedric was quitting. It may be fine right now, but it really won’t be in about an hour. So I’m going to go get this started and show Adan what to do. And then I’ll meet you all in the war room,” she said and turned to go to Adan’s shop. 

Cullen watched her go and rubbed the back of his neck. He knew she was right. He’d been through this type of day countless times since he’d quit the blue vial, but he was a bit surprised that she picked up on it just by looking into his eyes. He didn’t know how to feel about being so easy for her to read. 

But he could feel the telltale signs of pounding in the back of his skull and he decided that since he had some time, he’d go get some food. It had been a long trip to Orlais and he needed something to distract him from… well. All of it. 

Before he followed everyone else through the gate, he looked over at his soldiers, glad to see that Rylen wasn’t going easy on them. And in the almost three weeks that he had been gone, the recruits had improved a lot. Knight-Captain Rylen saw him watching and nodded in acknowledgement. Cullen nodded back and, knowing that his army was in good hands, headed for the tavern to get some food. 

 

Luckily, Adan had the remaining ingredients. “Okay, so while all of this is being distilled, you need to  _ steam _ distill the elfroot. It produces a very potent oil that you’ll add drop by drop after this finishes distilling,” she gestured to the dark, opaque mixture that was just beginning the distillation process. “After you’ve finished steam distilling the elfroot, you’re going to need to pound and grind the rest of the plant into a paste that will thin out once it’s added to everything else. Add the elfroot paste  _ before _ adding the oil. Good? Any questions, comments, gripes, bitches, concerns?” She asked. 

Adan had been nodding along as she spoke, listening to her instructions very carefully and only spoke once she was done. “This is the most intensive potion I’ve ever seen,” he said. 

“I know,” Aeryn said apologetically. “I would stick around and make it, but I have a council meeting, and I need it as soon as possible. I trust your abilities, so I know that I don’t need to sit here and supervise the whole thing. Do you feel comfortable with it?” She asked. 

Adan nodded. “Oh yes. I have no doubt I’ll be able to do it, it’s just very… time consuming.”

“It is. But the more of this stuff we can keep on hand, the better.”

“And this helps with lyrium withdrawal?” He asked. 

She nodded. “Yes. So if we have Templars who decide that they no longer want to take it, we’ll have a way to help them.”

“That’s very noble of you,” he said. “It’s good that someone knows of a way to help. I’ve seen what lyrium withdrawal does to a person. It’s not pretty.”

“No, it’s not,” she responded quietly. 

“So who’s this batch for, then?” He asked. 

She smiled at him. “Someone who doesn’t want everyone to know that they’re going through this.”

Adan held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, anonymity it is, but you know that while you’re gone, if this person needs this, I’ll need them to come to me.”

She nodded. “I know. And I’ll make sure they know that, too. I need to get going, though. I’m fairly certain I’m over my 30 minutes.” She thanked Adan one last time before walking out the door. The second the door closed behind her, she noticed the Commander walking up the steps toward her and she waited for him to reach her. She noticed Solas coming out of his hut, watching the two of them with a critical eye. 

Cullen held out a small loaf of bread, which she accepted gratefully. “You got me food? Aww, thank you,” she teased, but also started eating immediately. 

“Well I didn’t want your stomach to scare everyone more than it already has. People thought we were being set upon by demons,” he joked. 

“Ha ha, very funny,” she said with a mouth full of bread and he chuckled. Together, they walked toward the Chantry, Cullen holding his hands behind his back and Aeryn still stuffing her face. 

“Is everything settled with Adan?” He asked and Aeryn nodded. 

She swallowed before speaking this time. “He knows what to do and he’s a very skilled apothecary, so who knows? He may even find a better solution or method.”

Cullen nodded and then hesitantly asked, “Does he…”

Aeryn shook her head quickly. “He knows what it does, but he doesn’t know it’s for you. However, you will have to tell him at some point. I won’t be here all the time to talk to him or make the potion myself.”

He sighed and dropped his head. “I know. I just want as few people as possible to know right now. I won’t let this get in the way of the Inquisition.”

“Cullen,” she said, making him look at her as they reached the Chantry doors. “It’s okay. Nobody thinks you’re incapable of leading the Inquisition’s army. From what I’ve seen in the last few months, you’ve proven to be an excellent Commander. I understand your wanting to keep this quiet, but I really don’t think  _ anyone  _ will see you as weak for quitting lyrium. If anything, they’ll think you much stronger than before, especially the Templars that are here. To stop taking lyrium cold turkey  _ and _ lead an entire army? That’s pretty fucking strong, if you ask me,” she said and went to push open the Chantry doors, but someone stopped her, saying something about a mercenary group out on the Storm Coast that wanted to join the Inquisition. Aeryn gestured to Cullen to let him know she’d meet him in the war room and he went inside. 

As he walked through the Chantry, he considered her words carefully, running over them again and again. He didn’t know if she was right or not, but he liked that she saw him that way. It was definitely better than her seeing him as nothing more than the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall. 

 

“The Templars need our help,” Cullen said firmly and Aeryn sighed and rubbed her head before leaning forward on the table. 

“I  _ know _ they do. But we also need to see the mages. Fiona  _ invited _ us to Redcliffe to meet with her. The Templars didn’t invite us anywhere. All we know is that they’re at Therinfal Redoubt, but if we went there, unwelcome and uninvited, they’d kill us.”

Leliana and Josephine both agreed with Aeryn and Cullen’s shoulders slumped forward, defeated. 

Aeryn let out another heavy breath. “I’m going to leave for Redcliffe tomorrow to talk with them and then I need to make a trip to the Storm Coast to meet a mercenary group that wants to help. While I’m gone, I’ll keep trying to think of a way to help the Templars,” she said gently. “But that’s the most I can promise right now. The bottom line is that with where we’re at  _ right now _ , we wouldn’t be able to get either group to help us. Which is why I need to talk to Fiona.”

“Actually, I need you to make one more stop while you’re gone,” Leliana started and Aeryn looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “There’s been a noticeable absence of the Grey Wardens throughout this whole situation. I have been trying to find evidence of them but have come up empty, until recently. There is a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall near the crossroads right now. If you could talk to him and get some information, it would be much appreciated.”

Aeryn nodded and looked at the map, and traced out her course as she spoke. “Okay, so. Crossroads, Redcliffe, Storm Coast.” She looked up at the Inquisition advisors. “Sound like a plan?” They all nodded and she nodded once in return. “Good. I’ll leave at first light.”

She stood up straight and waited as Leliana and Josephine left and Cullen was approaching her. She gave him a small smile, knowing his headache was getting worse. “I’m going to check on your potion. Where do you want me to bring it when it’s finished?”

He gestured toward the door. “I will go with you. You had a point earlier. You will not be here all the time and I may need it when you can’t be the one to get it for me.”

Her eyes widened and she smiled, proud of his choice. “I think that’s an excellent idea.”

Together, the two walked out of the war room and toward the Chantry’s front door before it blew open and Vivienne walked in, causing Aeryn to stop short before walking up to the enchantress. “Madame De Fer, you arrived earlier than I anticipated,” she said with a kind smile. 

“Yes, it is remarkable what a good horse will do and I happen to have three of Orlais’ finest and strongest mounts pulling my carriage,” she said, so matter of factly that one could almost forget that not everyone has a carriage, or even a horse. 

Aeryn had to fight to not roll her eyes, but she couldn’t bite back the sarcastic, “Congratulations,” that bubbled forth. Luckily Vivienne didn’t seem to realize the Herald’s praise was a joke. Aeryn gestured to Cullen when she saw Vivienne eyeing him skeptically. “This is Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition’s forces.”

The First Enchanter’s eyes lit up and she sighed in relief. “Oh good. Commander, darling, would you be a dear and tell your recruits out front to bring my things inside? The insubordination in those men, they wouldn’t listen to a thing I said.”

Cullen eyed her with disbelief. “You - you’re joking, right? Those recruits are training to fight an actual war.”

Vivienne wasn’t phased at all. “And lifting heavy luggage builds strength, does it not?”

The Commander was about to argue back, but Aeryn stopped him and spoke under her breath, so only he could hear. “Just do it. Have them all go and it’ll be done faster, then they can get back to training. Trust me. It’s not worth fighting her on this.”

He wanted to argue but instead, Cullen huffed out a breath and through clenched teeth, said, “Your things will be brought to you straight away.” He stopped a passing agent and gave the order to let the recruits know of their temporary assignment.

Vivienne smiled and nodded. “Excellent.” She then turned her attention back to Aeryn. “My dear, you really should embrace your noble birth. The Trevelyan influence could help this little… organization tremendously.”

Aeryn nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, you know, I did actually think about that. But then the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that if the Trevelyans were involved in Inquisition matters, we would all implode and die.” She shrugged, as if to say,  _ What are you going to do? _

Vivienne gave her a very disapproving look and Aeryn fought back a laugh. Deciding she’d had more than enough of the woman’s presence for the day, and quite possibly the month, she tried to excuse herself and the Commander. “Well, I’m glad you made it here safely and so quickly. But I’m afraid the Commander and I have Inquisition business to attend to. So you go ahead and get settled in and make yourself at home.” She tried to walk through the doors, but once she was past Vivienne, she was stopped again.

“Oh, my dear, one more thing. When I arrived, there was a cloaked elf standing about, watching the soldiers train. I couldn’t see much of him, but he had white hair and was carrying a set of daggers. I do not know if he is with the Inquisition or not, but he seemed very out of place,” she said. “I just wanted you to be aware that there is a potential assassin in your midst.”

Aeryn turned to look at her and nodded. “Well. I am notoriously hard to kill. But thank you for the heads up.” With a small, friendly smile at yet another disapproving look, she left the enchantress to get settled in and Cullen walked in tense silence next to her until they were out of earshot of everyone. 

“If there’s an assassin here,” he started and Aeryn shook her head. 

“I don’t think he’s an assassin. At least not one here to kill anyone.”

“Aeryn,” he grabbed her elbow and pulled her to a stop before they reached Adan’s cabin. “As the Herald of Andraste, you have many enemies. It is entirely possible that someone sent an assassin here to kill you.”

She watched his eyes as he spoke and she could tell he was in a great deal of pain, but what surprised her was the raw concern he seemed to have for her wellbeing. Aeryn shook her head. “Think about it, Cullen. What kind of assassin would hang about so openly in a  _ mostly _ military organization, and watch the recruits train? If he were someone sent to kill me, he’d be hiding in the shadows and trying to watch me and learn my habits. He wouldn’t be noticed.” She waited for a moment for a response, but when she received none, she continued her trek to Adan’s cabin. 

Her eyes were immediately drawn to the flask with the swirling black liquid. Adan stood immediately. “Oh good, you’re back. I swear, I did everything exactly as you told me,” he said quickly, in a sort of panic. 

Aeryn held up a hand and walked closer to the concoction, picking it up and swirling it around a few times. “No, no, that’s how it should look. It looks perfect, actually,” she said and Adan let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding in. 

Cullen walked in then and Adan stood at attention and tried to hide the potion from the Commander, but Aeryn sidestepped him and handed the flask to Cullen who eyed it warily. 

“Why is it black?” He asked hesitantly. 

Aeryn shook her head. “You don’t want to know. It’s a mixture of some very unpleasant ingredients and a  _ lot _ of elfroot. You got lucky. I even found some Royal Elfroot for this batch, so it should be more potent in its healing properties and have a slightly better flavor.” Cullen sniffed it and gagged. “Yeah… I said  _ better _ flavor. Not good flavor. You may want to just plug your nose and down it like a shot,” she suggested. 

Adan took this moment to chime in. “So am I right I’m assuming these potions are for the Commander?”

Cullen nodded. “I would appreciate it if you would keep this quiet.”

Adan nodded in return. “Yes, sir. Of course, sir.”

Aeryn thanked him for his time and energy for making the potion and looked to Cullen expectantly. “Well?”

“Is this revenge for our argument before?” He asked. 

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, of course not. It’s not going to taste good, but it should help.”

“Should?” He raised an eyebrow and she started to fidget. 

“Well… I’ve only ever helped my brother through this and it worked for him. But I don’t know if Lyrium withdrawal is different for everyone or if there’s a universal thing that will help,” she said quietly. “But you should still take it. If it doesn’t help you, then I’ll figure out something new.”

He sighed and grimaced before plugging his nose with his left hand and tipping the flask back so that the liquid slid down his throat as quickly as possible. He gagged again. “That tastes worse than it smells,” he choked out. But luckily, he could feel the pressure in his head starting to lessen. “It seems to be working, though, so thank you.”

She beamed at him and turned her attention to Adan. “Okay, so it would be a good idea to always have at least two extra on hand.”

Adan nodded and said, “I can do that. The batch you started here made enough for six, I just need to bottle the rest.”

“Excellent,” she said, smile never leaving her face. She turned back to Cullen. “Let’s go see about this assassin, shall we?” 

Before he could react, she was out the door and heading toward Haven’s front gate. As she walked through the small village, all she could think about was how glad she was that the potion seemed to work. And it seemed to work better for Cullen than it had for Cedric. Cedric didn’t see any results from it until after he’d taken two or three of those flasks.  _ So it  _ is _ an individual thing, but maybe this potion could still help anyone with it? _ She came across Varric in his usual spot by the fire and she stopped and looked at him conspiratorially. 

“Know anything about a white-haired elf with daggers lurking around the recruits?”

Varric smirked and nodded slowly, in turn causing her grin to come back. Cullen started to approach the dwarf just in time to see Aeryn take off toward the wall to the right of the gate and both he and Varric watched her climb the wall effortlessly before she disappeared over the top. 

“What-”

Varric chuckled and shook his head. “It’s best to just go with it and not ask questions. But this, I  _ do _ want to see.” He started walking toward the gate and Cullen followed. They walked through the large gates and immediately saw the elf, and then they saw movement out of the corners of their eyes. 

Aeryn was prowling, silently making her way up to the cloaked figure from behind. She was right behind him and the elf still hadn’t noticed her.  _ Some assassin _ , Cullen thought. In one quick, fluid motion, Aeryn jumped up, spun to face away from the elf as she grabbed the handle of the greatsword on the elf’s back - how had no one noticed  _ that _ before? - pulled it out of its sheath, continued her spin in the air until she was facing the elf again, and landed in a deep crouch with the blade pointed at its owner. Cullen’s eyebrows rose in surprise. He was impressed. 

The elf stiffened and reached back, trying to feel for his weapon. When he came up empty, he turned to face a grinning Aeryn and his hood fell off his head. 

_ Fenris? _ Cullen thought and his jaw dropped open just a bit. 

“I don’t know how you are always able to sneak up on me,” the elf grumbled at Aeryn and she laughed - truly laughed - as she stood up straight and started weighing the greatsword in her hand. Cullen hadn’t heard her laugh like that since the beginning of her time at Kinloch Hold. 

“You just need more practice and a better sense of your surroundings,” she giggled. “This one’s heavier than your last one.”

Fenris gently took his sword from her and returned it to its sheath on his back and looked at her with an affection Cullen had never seen on his face before. He had never been so confused in his life. Meanwhile, Varric was standing next to him with a fond smile on his face, watching the pair interact.

Once Fenris’ sword was safely back in its place, Aeryn threw herself into his arms, buried her face in his neck, and Fenris held onto her just as tightly. They clung to each other for a few moments and nobody said anything - even the recruits had paused their training to gawk at the elf and the Herald.

Aeryn finally pulled away and grinned up at him, her eyes starting to water. “I’m so glad to see you,” she whispered. Fenris smiled at her and brushed some hair behind her ear before pulling her to his chest once again. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she pulled away once more, wanting to see his face.

“I had to make sure you were okay. I had heard all this nonsense about the  _ Herald of Andraste _ and didn’t pay much mind to it until I heard your name,” he said quietly. “I hadn’t realized you were at the Conclave, or I would have come sooner.”

“Yeah, Cedric and I both went,” she responded, just as quietly.

Fenris’ face filled with concern. “Cedric, is he…?”

She nodded sadly. “He’s dead.”

The elf pulled her into another tight hug and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Aeryn, I’m so sorry.”

Cullen and varric walked toward the pair then, having not wanted to interrupt their reunion. Well, Varric hadn’t wanted to interrupt. Cullen was too shocked to move until then.

“Hey Broody,” Varric said at the same time that Cullen said, “Fenris.”

Aeryn and Fenris loosened their grips on each other, but she stayed nestled in his arms as they turned to look at their visitors. “Varric,” Fenris nodded. “Knight-Captain.” He glared at Cullen and Aeryn lightly slapped his stomach as Cullen’s eyes hardened at the title.

“Be nice.”

“I left the order when I joined the Inquisition,” Cullen ground out.

Fenris quirked an eyebrow and muttered, “Once a Templar, always a Templar.”

Cullen breathed out through his nose heavily. “What about you Fenris? I thought you hated mages?”

“I do,” Fenris smirked.

“You do realize the Herald is a mage,” he stated. Aeryn’s face scrunched at the title. She had thought they were past that.

“So is Hawke,” the elf’s smirk grew just slightly bigger. And Aeryn snorted a laugh and tried to hide her laughter in Fenris’ chest.

Cullen could feel his face warm and his hand shot up to rub at the back of his neck. He remembered very clearly the day that Hawke and his band of misfits came to the Gallows and he had told the mage,  _ Mages aren’t people; they don’t deserve to be treated like you and me _ . “Yes, well,” he cleared his throat and returned his hand to his side. “I am aware of that.”

“Are you?” Fenris asked and Aeryn pulled away far enough to smack his stomach again.

“Stop it,” she admonished and Fenris looked at her questioningly. Apparently they had an entire silent conversation because before Cullen knew it, Fenris looked back at him and apologized.

The Commander was even more confused than earlier. Fenris  _ hated _ mages. And yet he seemed to care very deeply for Aeryn. But how did they know each other? There was no way they had met in Kirkwall and had a relationship that strong. Cullen had never seen her around Kirkwall and yet he saw Hawke, Fenris, Varric, and their friends quite frequently.

The three sensed his confusion and while Varric and Fenris chuckled, Aeryn took it on herself to answer his unspoken question. “We met in Minrathous when we were kids.”

Cullen waited for more elaboration, but it seemed that was all she was willing to say on the matter, despite the fact that it just left him more confused than before.  _ Why would he be friends with a mage that he met during his time as a slave? _ He wondered.

Aeryn seemed to be done with this conversation and excitedly turned toward the elf with a mischievous gleam in her eye. “I heard you were carrying a set of daggers.”

Fenris laughed. “Oh, did you now? Void take whoever told you. They were meant to be a surprise,” he muttered and pulled two very intricate and very  _ sharp _ daggers out from behind him, under his cloak. After allowing Aeryn to get a good glimpse of them, he held them out to her. “I figured you would want a good set.”

Aeryn’s eyes were wide as she carefully took the daggers from him, turning them over in her hands, watching as the light reflected off the blades. “Oh, Fen… These are  _ gorgeous _ ,” she whispered, as if speaking any louder would damage them. She poured a slight amount of mana into the daggers and grinned as she felt her magic surge through the blades, the dragon bone inside amplifying her power. “Where did you get the dragon bone?” Her eyes widened. “Wait. Does this mean you finally killed that son of a bitch in the Bone Pit?!”

He smirked and nodded, eyes dancing with joy at her reaction. Cullen had never seen the elf like this. He had only ever been serious and… broody when they visited the Gallows or when he had seen them out in the field. Varric had only ever seen Fenris like this when he was with Aeryn, Hawke, or both. He was glad to see them both so happy.

“How?” she asked.

“A lot of healing and lyrium potions,” he said.

She chuckled out a breath. “Yeah, I suppose that would help. We were always drastically unprepared whenever we went out there.” 

Varric laughed. “That’s an understatement.”

“Sandal also enchanted those with fade-touched bloodstone,” Fenris told her.

“That explains the extra surge in power,” she said with a reverent smile.

Aeryn removed her old daggers from their sheaths and handed them to a young woman watching the soldiers and, with a gentle smile, asked her to return those to Harritt before she sheathed her shiny new daggers.

Cullen really wanted to stay and try and find out more about the relationship between the elf and the Herald, but the soldiers were still gawking, and that included Rylen. So he really  _ had _ to get back to work. Which, evidently, wasn’t an issue, as Varric and Fenris decided that the three of them needed to go get drunk. Aeryn pulled herself from Varric’s grip and stayed behind just long enough to check on how he was faring. 

“You doing okay? Now that you’ve had some time for it to settle, does it seem like the potion’s helping?” she asked quietly, trying not to let anyone overhear.

He gave her a small smile. “It has helped a great deal, actually. I can still feel the pressure, but it is more of a dull ache now instead of a very harsh pounding.”

She returned his smile with a bigger one, once again bringing back memories from twelve years ago. “Good. If anything changes, let me know. I assume I’ll be at the Singing Maiden for a while tonight. If you need another one, Adan has plenty more for now.”

He nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Aeryn.”

“You’re welcome, Cullen.” And with that, she left him to his work and headed to the tavern to catch up with an old friend.


End file.
